Time Warp: Anime Style
by KingofCrossovers
Summary: YuYu Hakusho Rurouni Kenshin. A maniacal villain discovers a time warp to Meiji era Tokyo and the Sprirt Detective gang must stop him from altering history (I use a spell checker! And I proof read!)
1. Do the Time Warp

Time-Warp: Anime Style  
  
Rurouni Kenshin is written by Nobuhiro Watsuki and YuYu Hakusho is written by Yoshihiro Togashi. With the possibility of some demons and attacks later on in the story, I own nothing. That being said, any and all ideas for characters, attacks, spells and so on will be given due consideration, just put them in the reviews section. Criticism is greatly appreciated as long as it has a logical concern and on a similar note, if someone could make a list of the current attacks in the Kenshin universe, or direct me to a site with such information, I would be most thankful. My apologies if anything in this story is misspelled or misapplied grammatically, please feel free to point out any such errors in your review.  
  
Good. Now no one can sue me.  
  
Chapter One: Yusuke, do the Time Warp (without the cross dressing)  
  
It was a typical day in Spirit World. The ogres were hustling and bustling with their comically high stack of important documents, and even more were waiting (im)patiently for their very important documents to be ratified by the 300 year old toddler King Koenma.  
"Good. Okay. Sure why not? Go ahead. Don't even think about it. Done. Whatever. Where the heck is my squid on a stick?" rattled off the king.  
"Right here sir, where it's been for the past ten minutes" replied Koenma's aid, a blue ogre with a tiger skin loincloth.  
"WHAT? How could it have been here for so long? Now It's all cold and tough, Ogre I order you to get me a new one." exclaimed Koenma as he poked the frigid cephalopod.  
"Yes, sir" sighed the ogre dejectedly.  
"Getting back to work now. what the? GREAT OOGILY-MOOGILY! Someone get Yusuke and the others on the line right now, I don't care if you have to stop time, we must reach them!"  
"Do you still want your squid, sir?"  
"This is not a time for fried treats, Ogre."  
"Yes, sir."  
*******  
  
As Spirit World was facing an eminent emergency, Yusuke and Kuwabara were learning how to appreciate fine art at the museum.  
"Stupid field trip, I never would have forged my mom's signature if I knew it was going to be this boring." Moaned a listless Yusuke  
"Well, at least you thought you wanted to come, my sister threatened to show Yukina my baby pictures if I didn't go."  
Okay, maybe not willingly, but they were learning it anyway.  
Suddenly everything turned an odd gray color, and Kuwabara was freaking out but, Yusuke just explained that somebody had stopped time.  
"But why would somebody do that?" asked Kuwabara.  
"So that I can give you your next assignment, you ninny."  
"Aaaah! how many times do I have to tell you to not do that?!"  
"To my count Kuwabara, that was the first time that you have told me, but I will take your suggestion into consideration."  
"All right, all right, anyway Koenma what do you want now. No wait, let me guess: another demon's gonna try to destroy or take over the world. Again, I might add." interrupted Yusuke.  
"Your prescience amazes me, but such sarcasm is not necessary."  
"What?" asked the two boys.  
"Ughhh, your right, another demon is trying to take over the human world again, one that has found access to a previously undiscovered time warp. The note he sent us listed his demand and this warning: A.) He wants supreme command of the human world, the spirit world, and the demon world and B.) He will alter time so much that the world as we know it would not exist, but never would have as well. He goes on to explain that he would rather not have to take such drastic measures because he too realizes the consequences of such an action. Your mission is to stop him from doing any such thing, because of course, we cannot even consider giving this lunatic such authority."  
"Sounds deep, what about Hiei and Kurama, they joining us too?" asked Yusuke.  
"Why of course, Yusuke. Hiei and I have been permanently assigned to your group I thought you knew that?" proclaimed a young red headed man in a matching suit.  
"What Kurama means is that that we've been permanently assigned as your baby-sitters." said a haughty, slightly high pitched voice, coming from another young man, who was short and wore the obligatory spiked black hair that is so ubiquitous in anime, who also wore bandana around his forehead and was dressed in a black robe-like garment.  
"Hey, Kurama, hey, shorty!" retorted Kuwabara. "Great, great, now that everyone's here I've got one more question: where are we going, who are we after, and what time are going to be in?" asked Yusuke. "That's actually three questions, but I won't argue the point. The time warp is in Tokyo, where you'll be landing. The demon your after gave no real name but he did sign it as 'The Drowned Man'. The time you will be arriving is June 29th, 1877, a good ways into the Meiji era. Also if everything goes as planned Yukina and Botan will be joining you there, they have already set up a place of residence and everything is ready for your arrival. We have also taken the liberty of notifying your guardians along with Keiko and Atsuko as well as your school. Hopefully, no one will try anything unexpected or stupid, like trying to convince you to not do this or to come along with you, but we will do what we can, should they try. Now if you will follow me we can get this show on the road."  
  
In the next chapter, the gang finally gets to Kyoto and meets some rather interesting characters (If you read the intro you should know who I'm talking about). Again, any logical criticism is welcomed, constructive or not, it doesn't matter. I'll probably write a few more chapters and see if I get any requests to keep going. Thank you all for reading this. 


	2. Meiji Madness

The disclaimer is in Chapter One, if you really enjoy reading those things, more power to ya.  
  
Chapter Two: Meiji Madness (insanity ensues)  
  
"Oh, hello Botan, hello Keiko, you're up a bit early." said Sanosuke Sagara, a man with spiky brown hair, a white jacket with the Japanese symbol for "bad" on the back, along white strips of cloth covering his abdomen that probably weren't bandages, and white pants.  
"Well yes, remember, the rest of our family should be arriving any minute now, they sent us a letter saying to expect them early in the morning. They've been riding all night to make up for time, and we want them to have a warm reception when they get here." explained Botan a young woman with puffy, light blue hair and a pink kimono.  
"Really, well then would ya mind if I waited with you two? there've been reports of a gang of thieves in the area; but even then this never really was the best part of town. I know how you say you can handle yourselves, but a bit of preventative medicine never hurt." Warned a slightly worried Sanosuke, since he was right on both accounts, and Kaoru had warned him from the beginning that they were paying enough money to cover everybody's rent, which was rather weird since the Kamiya dojo was never really meant to have more than Kaoru's immediate family permanently living in it, that they were to be treated with all the kindness everyone could muster. But Kaoru always said that if there was money to be made in this depression, she'd take it in any legal, non-perverted, way that she could, even it did mean renting out living space to strange people. That and Kaoru would have had Sano's hide if he didn't try to be helpful to the two young women on general principle.  
"Well if you insist, we'd be glad to have your company. Yahiko did say you know some pretty good stories about Kenshin and the others." Said Yukina, someone who could have been Botan's twin sister, if it weren't for the fact that she was a foot shorter then Botan, and wore a blue kimono instead. And as far as everyone else knew she was actually Botan's younger cousin.  
"Yeah well, maybe I can tell you a few later, I think that's your family up ahead." pointed out Sanosuke. He was right. On a carriage just bit down the road was indeed Yusuke and the others. After a few seconds the coach pulled to a stop and out came Kuwabara  
"Oh Yukina, I'm so glad we're back together again it's been so long!"  
"You big silly, it's only been a few days since we left.  
"Ah, so this must be the fiancé you were talking about, eh?  
* Huh, he thinks I'm Yukina's fiancé? Oh HAPPY DAY, whoo - hoo, yeah baby, could this mean I'm that much closer to my true love?* thought a particularly smitten young man in strange blue clothes and with orange hair.  
*Oh, great, now Kuwabara's gone insane. Again. But that must mean that Yusuke and the others weren't briefed about the whole big family gathering story we're using as cover,* thought Botan. *Oh well I'll have to tell them later.*  
"Yes he is, and this is my older brother Heie, and Kuwabara's brother, Kurama." said Yukina.  
"Right, and this is my brother, Yusuke." said Botan.  
* What? how did she learn I'm her brother?!* thought a very surprised Heie. * Why am I supposed to be Kuwabara's brother? Oh, wait, the hair, probably.* Thought a confused Kurama. * WHAT?! How am I supposed to be Botan's brother, I don't want to be Botan's brother. I don't want to be Botan's anything!* Thought a typically angry Yusuke.  
"And this everyone, is Sanosuke Sagara, he'll be one of our housemates 'till we go back home" finished Botan.  
"Well, then hello to you all. Not sure if there's enough room in the dojo for all of ya, but guess Kaoru will think of something. I just got one question though."  
"What?" asked a curious Yusuke.  
"Well I know that almost everything you just said was a lie judging from the reactions of your 'family', so my question is: who are you people, and why would you lie about something like this? Asked Sanosuke.  
"Ho-ho-ho, tough man, not so fast. First you should hand over your possessions and leave quietly." commanded a strange voice coming from the shadows.  
  
Not much of a cliffhanger, since we all know this is the part that the whole charade of the spirit detectives gets thrown out the window, but it's always interesting to see just how badly that gang of thieves gets their butts kicked, so hang around for the next chapter. 


	3. Pity those poor sensless thieves

Again, the disclaimer is in Ch. One. Shout out to Portal-girl for correcting Sanosuke and Hiei, thank you much. By the way, this where the PG13 rating comes into effect.  
  
Chapter 3: Pity those poor senseless thieves Pt I (On with the butt- kicking!)  
  
"Did he just say what I think he said? asked an amused Yusuke.  
"Ya know, I think he did." said an equally amused Kuwabara.  
"Do people talk like that here?" said Kurama, stifling a laugh.  
"Hengh, another pathetic attempt on our lives and our stuff, when will these humans ever learn?" sighed an (unsurprisingly) annoyed Hiei.  
"What do you mean 'when will these humans ever learn?" asked a confused Sanosuke  
"Don't you worry your pretty little head Sano; the boys will take care of everything, and then we'll see about explaining our position to you and the others."  
*Hmmm, what are these people talking about, I am Kizumishi, the bandit lord feared across Japan*  
"WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE BABBLING ON ABOUT, I AM KIZUMISHI, THE LORD OF THE BANDIT CLAN, KONOHAGEKURA, FEARD ACROSS JAPAN!" screamed an enraged midget, dressed in ninja style clothes that were actually five sizes too large.  
"Really, well if you're so frightful, how come I've never heard of you?" Sanosuke asked harmlessly.  
"Yeah, about the only reason I can think of to be afraid of you is if you tried to bite my crotch, midget, so why don't ya just bug off before we play football with you as the ball!?" exclaimed an exasperated Yusuke.  
"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME IN SUCH A MANNER, I'LL HAVE YOUR SKULL FOR A CANDY DISH" the midget screamed in an even louder voice.  
"Sure got a pair a' lungs for a little guy, hey Hiei, I think we found your twin brother, he looks just like ya!" cracked Kuwabara  
"Very funny you fool; maybe I should help him in making your skull into that candy dish." threatened Hiei.  
"FINE THEN, IF YOU WON'T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, THEN I'LL TAKE SOMETHING OF YOURS!" the midget screamed as he grabbed Yukina, and with the surprising strength that quite a few midgets actually have, he managed to carry her over a few rooftops he had jumped to before he realized his mistake: i.e. grabbing a surprised ice apparition. When the others finally jumped to Yukina's aid, all they found was Yukina still in shock of what she had done, and a curious ice statue, which on further examination proved to be Kizumishi.  
"I did-di-didn't mean t-to hurt him, he just gr-grabbed m-me, and then he-he froze." Yukina sobbed miserably as she stared at the gruesome testimony to her powers.  
"There, there, girl. It's alright. I probably would have done the same sort thing had he grabbed me. It's okay." Botan said as she tried to console the sad girl.  
*Hmph, the man got what he deserved, but Yukina shouldn't have been the one to do it.*  
  
**********  
"Hmmm, so that sod of a ninja was frozen you say. Hah! good riddance, that midget always was a pain in my side. But an insult to one bandit lord is an insult to all bandit lords. Besides this should prove an interesting test of my powers, to fight the feared Yusuke Urameshi, bane of the demon world!"  
  
Just who is this voice? Is it the Drowned Man? Or is it some other time traveler? Trust me you'll find out next time, and it shouldn't be much more than a day or two before I get another chapter up.  
  
As always, non-plot related questions and corrections are always welcomed. 


	4. Pity those poor senseless thieves Pt II

Yay, me! Five reviews for three chapters in two days! and all were positive, too. Mucho gracias to ss4rycol for being the first person to put me in their favorite authors' page, domo arigato, dude!  
That just sounded stupid. Anyway, the disclaimer, as always, is in Chapter One.  
  
Chapter 3 Pt II: Pity those poor senseless thieves (who am I kidding, lets see some pain!)  
  
"All right, kiddies, I want some answers right now! First Hiei complains about how humans are always bothering him, and normal people don't say stuff like that. Second, and most importantly, Yukina turns that ninja midget into an ice statue, and though the first might one might be explained away, the whole freezing thing is going to be very difficult for you guys to convince me that you're all human. So get to talking right now!" screamed a very confused (and slightly scared) Sanosuke.  
"Oh, should I just kill him now? he'll only tell his friends, and then whatever cover we might have had would be completely blown. I'll even try to make it painless." asked Hiei, with a disconcertingly hungry look on his face.  
"Absolutely not Hiei! I know some of the rules have been relaxed to make this job slightly easier for us, but we can't just kill someone because they know who we are. Besides, Sano and his friends are all good people, and many of them are surprisingly powerful and would make good allies in this sort of assignment." Botan rebuked. Now Sanosuke even more worried, because Yukina's "brother" had just threatened his life, and though normally Sano would have just come up with some "witty" remark, the look on Hiei's face said quite plainly that he had done that exact sort of thing before and to the sort of people Sano probably would have had nightmares about as a child (granted, Hiei almost certainly has).  
"All right, all right lets not fight in front of the normal person, everybody huddle up so we can discuss this orderly!" ordered an impatient Yusuke. Kuwabara made a rather large and unnecessary point of being next to Yukina.  
*What the hell is this "lets not fight in front of the normal person" crap? Now I know something big is up, very big indeed.* Sano thought, and the fact that Yusuke and the others were all whispering so lightly made it impossible for him to hear anything they were saying.  
"Ready? Break!" Yusuke and the others shouted. Sano took this to mean that they had come to a decision. Sano knew that if they had decided to kill him or erase his memory or make him go insane, that he probably wouldn't be able to stop them, but he promised himself that he would fight no matter what if they proved to be aggressive.  
"All right Sanosuke we'll tell you everything!" chirped a happy Botan, since she had gotten her way once again.  
"Whaaaa!" Sano exclaimed as he anime falled to the ground with the really big sweatdrop common in such situations.*And to think I was ready to fight to the death!*  
To cut a rather long story short, they did manage to tell him all the important bits about Yusuke and the others being spirit detectives and what they were doing in Tokyo, even the bits about being from the future and their spirit attacks. Sano actually took it surprisingly well, though they did have to calm him down after they told him about Hiei, Kurama, and Yukina being demons, and he almost fell unconscious when they told him that Botan was a grim reaper (which was really rather an odd choice of terminology, since Botan was about as far from grim as Hiei was from a sugar high, and to everyone's knowledge had never once done anything remotely similar to farm work.).  
*I am in way too much over my head, and considering how my hair adds almost two whole feet to my height, that's really high on up there.* thought a particularly worried Sanosuke.  
"Hmm, an interesting story, to be sure, but you mission will never succeed if I and my compatriots have anything to say about. You have already disgraced the bandit lords by killing Kizumishi of the Konohagekure Clan, and though you what you did actually made most of us quite happy, an insult to one bandit lord is an insult to all bandit lords, and our code demands that all insults and signs of disrespect be dealt with swiftly and severely. I am Mizusashki of the Kirigagekure Clan and my compatriots and I will be thine executioners!" said a tall man in a blue ninja outfit that left everything but his eyes covered completely, with an EXTREMELY large trident on his back.  
"I am Kumagoro Bandit lord of the Kumogagekure Clan! What he said." exclaimed a giant of a man in a yellow ninja outfit, with another overly large weapon, in this case the same sort of zanbatoh that Sano had used before meeting Kenshin.  
"I am Suneyoshi of the Sunogagekure Clan, and I agree with Mizusahki and Kumagoro that you must be destroyed!" said a man in an orange ninja outfit with a giant battle-axe that he should not even have been able to carry on his back, let alone fight well with.  
"And I am Kizumaki, brother of Kizumishi and the new bandit lord of the Konohagekure Clan. You, girl, shall be the one to taste the wrath of my blade, and both it and me hunger for your blood." said another midget in a red ninja outfit that, unlike his brother's, fit him perfectly, and had a miniature samurai sword that complemented his stature well. He was glaring at Yukina as he spoke and made his intentions all to clear to the young ice apparition.  
"Haven't we had to deal with enough evil ninjas for one day? I mean come on, they might be problem for other people, but these guys seriously don't know what their getting themselves into." asked a bored Kuwabara.  
"I thought you could sense spirit energy, you oaf. These are not ordinary ninjas, they demons." Hiei snapped.  
"Well yeah, they are that, but I meant what I said about these guys not being a problem. We've dealt with much worse than these wimps when we stormed Maze Castle. By the way, I call Kizumaki." retorted Kuwabara.  
"I want Mizusashki, he's the most powerful." Yusuke responded.  
"Fine. I'll take Kumagoro. Said Hiei.  
"I guess that leaves me Suneyoshi." Finished Kurama.  
It was horrible, what happened. There wasn't a single survivor. Kuwabara effectively made midget-on-a-stick with Kizumaki and his Spirit Sword, for a visual aid check out any of the sites about Vlad the Impaler. When Hiei was done with Kumagoro, there wasn't enough left to make sandwich for a kindergartener's school lunch, though he was sliced pretty thinly. Kurama also dealt pain when he turned Suneyoshi into demon Swiss cheese with his Rose-Whip, blood, internal organs, and all. But the prize for the most gruesome slaying had to Yusuke Urameshi for texture coating the walls with what was left of Mizusashki's body with his Shotgun attack. Everyone was sprayed with blood when that was finished.  
"My coat, you ass, it's ruined! That was a designer label and cost me 300 skrull skulls to buy. YOU OWE ME 3OO SKRULL SKULLS!" screamed a horrified Hiei. (A/N Well, I guess he had to have some sort of weakness, and ya gotta admit, that coat is snazzy)  
"Calm down Hiei, I'll get ya yer freakin' coat cleaned when we get back, I know this great dry cleaning place that it'll have it fixed up in no time, until then you'll just have to wear something else." Yusuke snapped back, and it at least seemed to calm Hiei down a little.  
  
*************  
  
"Hmmm, so they killed the other bandit lords as well. No matter. I have other lieutenants to stop them. Hehehehehe."  
  
It's that Voice in the Dark again, but what does he mean by "other lieutenants" (as if you didn't know)? Anyway, see about updating again tomorrow, or maybe even tonight if your lucky. Kenshin and the others will be in the next chapter, I promise. In the meantime keep those reviews a'commin and as always, you're welcome to try and find any errors in my story.  
  
P.S. I still really need a Rurouni Kenshin attack list, otherwise I might need to make the names (and the attacks themselves) up all by my lonesome, and I hold no responsibility with what happens after I make such a decision. 


	5. Finally! Kenshin Appears!

Okay, forget the whole attack list thing, I finally found one on my own (praise be to Google for saving my lazy hide, also, thanks for trying Portal-girl and PPPPchan)., Anyway, looks like you guys (all three of you) are in for a treat, 'cause if you hadn't already guessed, It's a new update! Yay, yay, yay! can't you just feel the happiness? Again the real disclaimer is in chapter one.  
  
Chapter Four: Finally! Kenshin appears! (this is what is known as: The Happy Dance)  
  
After Yusuke and the others finished grinding the four new bandit lords into a particularly red stain that would probably become a tourist attraction in modern times, Sanosuke decided to see about getting Kenshin and the others to meet everyone, since he knew that Kenshin would probably that not everyone was an innocent human as soon as they stepped through the doorway, and that Kaoru would probably discover some sort of clue that would make any sort of story meaningless anyway.  
"I still don't think this is a good idea. If these other humans believe us, there's no way of knowing what they'll do." Hiei warned cautiously.  
"Don't worry, little man. If they don't believe you guys, they will believe. Besides you could always just show them that third "Majong" eye of yours, can't you?" Sanosuke replied with every trait of innocence.  
"THAT'S JAGAN EYE, YOU FOOL. THE THIRD EYE DEMON SIGHT DOES NOT TAKE KINDLY TO BEING MOCKED! Besides, after the Jagan is uncovered, I must either kill someone, or be defeated myself." screamed the little fire demon.  
"Well sorry, mister triclops, I'm still kind of new this whole spirit detective thing." Sano explained sarcastically.  
"Haha! Mister triclops! I've got to remember that one! Good thing I brought my notebook!" laughed a gleeful Kuwabara. Sadly for him though, Hiei had other plans.  
"Write anything in that notebook and I will take my sword, shove it up you ass, twist it as fast as I can, and then hack it out through your groin." Hiei threatened in his trademark monotone voice that he reserved for just such occasions.  
"Mommy" whimpered Kuwabara as he put his notebook back in his pocket.  
"Hiei, don't threaten the humans, it's not polite" Botan admonished  
"Whatever, 'mother.'" Hiei retorted  
"Hey look everyone, we're here!" Yukina interrupted before things got anymore heated.  
"Huh, looks pretty rundown for a dojo." Yusuke remarked sarcastically.  
"Hmph, well if that's what you think, then no one is making you stay here, young man." A pretty woman with dark blue hair and (another) matching kimono said.  
"Oh, yeah? And who might you be, lady? Nobody asked for yer opinion, ya know!?"  
"I am Kaoru Kamiya, heir to the Kamiya Kashin Style (did I spell that right?), and the master of this dojo! And I'll have you know that I have enough prepubescent kids causing a problem here!" the woman screamed just as loudly as Yusuke.  
"It's almost as though Yusuke is arguing with himself, only ten years older and with a sex-change operation." Kurama whispered in amazement. Kuwabara could only nod his agreement, and even Hiei and Sano couldn't contradict him.  
"Is there a problem here?" a strange red headed man in (another!?) mathing kimono, cross-shaped scar on his right cheek asked (yay! Kenshin! Kenshin!). The Spirit Detective group couldn't help but notice the sword sheathed at his side; even Yusuke and Kuwabara knew that swords were illegal during the Meiji era (well, what with all the blood fighting being talked about, even they couldn't help it if their attention carried on slightly longer then necessary).  
"Yes Kenshin, these ruffians insulted my dojo!" an indignant Kaoru explained.  
"Yeah, well maybe if you if ya mowed the lawns and got it repainted this place wouldn't be such a freakin' eyesore!" the equally indignant Spirit Detective retorted.  
"He's gotta point, Kaoru, you have kinda been slacking off on the chores lately." A new voice interrupted. On further inspection it turned out to be a young boy, only ten or eleven, with more spiky brown hair and wearing a yellow and brown kimono.  
"YAHIKO, YOU KNOW FULL WELL THAT, AS THE STUDENT, THOSE ARE YOUR CHORES TO DO!" Kaoru screamed so loudly that everyone accepted a pair of the earplugs that Sanosuke began handing out.  
"SOME TEACHER YOU ARE, GETTING EVEN FATTER AND UGGLIER AS I DO ALL THE WORK!!" Yahiko replied, and then he started gnawing on Kaoru's head like he usually does when he gets really angry with someone.  
"Whoa, these people need to take a chill pill. Not even I can get *that* loud." Yusuke mentioned.  
"Uh-huh." everyone agreed.  
"At times like this it's usually best if everyone just lets Miss Kaoru and Yahiko get this out of their system. Why don't we all go to the common room so we can get better acquainted, and I'm particularly interested as to how boys like you came to be so powerful?" Kenshin suggested.  
"Wha? Whoa, Sanosuke, I guess you were right about Kenshin being able to tell we were powerful." Said a surprised Kuwabara.  
"Hmm, you're losing your touch Kuwabara. I could sense his energy the second he walked through that door, but admittedly, it isn't like anything I've ever experienced before. Or even heard about for that matter. He's definitely not a demon, of that I am for certain." Said a curious Hiei.  
"I agree, but there is no doubt in my mind that he and his power is all just innocent strength and a warrior's talent for reading people." Surmised an equally curious Kurama  
"You're right, that you are. Quite right indeed. But understand this: if I ever have reason to believe that you are a threat to any person in this dojo, I will personally make sure that you will never be able to threaten anyone again." The strange man said in a significantly more threatening tone of voice.  
Even Hiei know the right response to such an obvious threat as that.  
Out in the courtyard, They could still hear Kaoru and Yahiko arguing.  
  
*****************  
"Hmmm. so they've met Kenshin Himura, the Bottosai, this *is* interesting. Mayhaps I should call upon one of my stronger lieutenants this time. Hehehehehehe."  
  
Don't you just hate it when voices make threatening pronouncements in the dark, and then laugh evilly? I sure know I do. And then there's the matter of this stronger lieutenant. Maybe the gang will finally get to see Sanosuke and Kenshin in action, right along with us. 


	6. Time for a Talk

Okay, all you humanoids and super beings, now's the time when things begin to get serious, both in this story and out of it. What I mean is that I am now considering starting a new story, but I'm leaving the decision up to you, the reviewers. Check out my bio and select your favorite idea from that list, or if you have a better idea put it in instead. In about a week or so I'll count the votes and start the one with the most backers. Rules, restrictions, and notifications: this only applies to the setting of the story; the genres and so forth are still up to me. If you want a digimon crossover, please specify which season and note that for no reason whatsoever will I be using seasons one or two, there are just way too many characters for me to make a good story with, so I would probably have to kill off quite a few of them, OR figure out some way of taking them out of the picture, and most people probably would not like that. Also, concerning Yugioh crossovers (or stories in general), I will not give the monsters personalities or any meaningful position in the stories beyond what they are given in the anime. One vote per registered author, if you try to fill the box or change your mind, I will just count your first entrant. This also applies to non-registered reviewers, but since you would just have to change the sign in name, there's not too much I can do about that. Also don't worry about this slowing down the updates too much; I'll still probably have new chapters ready every other day for bath stories.  
As always, the disclaimer is in chapter one.  
  
Chapter Six: Time for a Talk (but not about birds, bees, and those magazines under your mattress)  
  
"So, you four are demons, and you two just have superhuman powers, is that right? My, my, my. I knew you were all powerful when I saw you in the courtyard, but I never would have guessed this. But, with all the things I have seen, heard, and even done, I learned a long time ago that there are always more things to learn, experience, and even fear. But I had never really expected demons, let alone ones from the future. But if what you say is true, then I suppose I have no choice but to do everything I can to help you. But I just have one slight problem: a long time ago, I took a vow to never personally kill someone again. I just can't help but wonder if I would be breaking my vows if I were to kill a demon." thought Kenshin aloud.  
Kurama thought about what Kenshin had said and then spoke "Hmm, yes. I suppose that is a bit of a conundrum. But if you will accept my idea, then it may be able to clear things up a bit. You see, yes, most demons are sentient, and some of them can be quite nice people. Yukina, myself, and to an admittedly lesser extent, even Hiei, are all morally similar to most humans. Botan is actually less of a demon then she is a spirit, and she was presumably human at one time. The ones we are fighting against on the other hand, are a completely different matter entirely. If they so desired, they would murder, rape, and pillage this entire city, along with this dojo and everyone in it. I will not ask you to break your vow, or to rescind it, but there may come a time, not necessarily now, but eventually, when you may not have a choice. Also, many demons are capable of regeneration, so it may be that the only way for you to survive such a battle is for you to kill your opponent. Mercy may work once or twice in convincing a demon to join us, but there is no way of knowing if they can be relied on in a battle, let alone to not kill us while we sleep, so if you do decide on such a course of action towards dealing with our enemies, I can only hope that you prove to have chosen wisely on who to spare."  
Then Yusuke remembered the sword Kenshin had sheathed at his side and become curious, so he asked "Hey Kenshin, if you've taken an oath to never kill again, then why do you have that sword, and besides, I thought swords were illegal in the Meiji era?"  
"You're right about swords being illegal here, but I'm allowed to keep one because I've helped the police out so often that they mostly let me slide. Also, I fought along side the police commissioner during the revolution, and that's another reason. I probably would get in trouble if I moved out this jurisdiction (remember that episode when Kenshin was on his way to Kyoto?). As for why I still carry it, when I've sworn to not kill, well. maybe I'd better show you." Kenshin said as he unsheathed his sword.  
"What? A reversed blade sword? Hnn, I should have known. I guess that does explain it quite well." Remarked Hiei, the resident sword expert as he examined the blade.  
Noting the incredulity in his new friends eyes', Sanosuke decided to explain things slightly better. "Yeah, I know it's kind of weird, but that sword has done some pretty amazing stuff, let me tell ya. I've actually felt it myself, on several occasions, back when I was being really stupid. It might not look like much, but the way Kenshin uses it, it may as well be normal sword for all the hurt it can cause."  
"Hmmm, this I must see for myself. Kenshin Himura, I challenge you to a battle. In keeping with your oath, I suppose we don't have to kill each other, but I'm holding you to your warrior's honor to at least let an ally know the true extent of your power." Hiei demanded, and everyone could tell that there was no way in three worlds that he would not have this fight.  
Kenshin, after apparently thinking things over for a few minutes, simply said, "Then I suppose I have no choice but to accept your challenge."  
  
*************  
"Now this I simply must see for myself. Hehehehe."  
  
Oh, boy this can't be good. Mister voice in the dark is laughing again, and this time he's apparently going to have a ringside seat at a truly history making fight. But I do rather agree with him for once, this I simply must see for myself.  
  
P.S. Don't forget to put your vote for next story in along with your next review. But this fight ain't up to a vote so don't try swaying me on this. 


	7. Hiten Mitsurugi Vs The Darkness Flame

Yay for you, it's another new chapter! Here we finally see Kenshin in action; who will win, Hiei or the former Battosai?  
  
Chapter Six: Hiten-Mitsurugi Style Vs. the Darkness Flame (but no killing involved)  
  
As Kenshin studied his diminutive opponent, this is what went through his mind: *As he is a demon, there's no telling what he might be capable of. All that I know for certain is that he is powerful, and that he's so small, some of my attacks won't be as effective as normal. I also don't know whether I'm even strong enough to hurt him. I guess I'll just have to let him make the first move.* Deciding on a course of action, Kenshin put his sword back in its sheath, and took a defensive stance.  
"Interesting technique, Himura. I've never heard of an attack that requires the sword to still be in its sheath. I suppose this means you're giving me the first move?" Hiei asked. Kenshin only nodded slightly in agreement.  
Meanwhile, back in the courtyard Sanosuke was getting Kaoru and Yahiko to watch the fight. "Come on, you two, Kenshin's gonna put on a little exhibition match for our guests, and you are definitely gonna want'a watch it."  
"What do you mean, Kenshin's putting on an exhibition match, and why would he do it for our guests? That doesn't make any sense!" screamed Kaoru.  
"This I've gotta see! Who's Kenshin fighting anyway? I sure fell sorry for him, whoever he is!" exclaimed an excited Yahiko.  
Back at the fight, Hiei decided to show his opponent just how fast he was by going for a straight on charge with his sword at the ready. Any normal man probably wouldn't have even been able to see it, but luckily for Kenshin he was far from normal.  
"Hiten-Mitsurugi Style: Battou-Jutsu!" Kenshin yelled as he unleashed his sword from its sheath at near-supersonic speed. Luckily Hiei was just fast enough to dodge a direct hit, but it still managed to hit his foot as he jumped over Kenshin at the last second. It was numb when he hit the ground, and because he had still gotten hit, he rolled hardly on the ground before he got back up.  
"What the hell was that!? What's a Battou-Jutsu? And how did he manage to hit Hiei? I've never seen Hiei get hit at full speed!!" Kwabara exclaimed.  
"It was pure speed, Kuwabara. Kenshin used that stance to slash at his opponent as he unsheathes his sword. Ingenious, I must say.  
"Battou-Jutsu? Interesting technique, I must admit. Why, my foot is still numb from that hit. But surely you must have more than that?" Hiei said as he charged at Kenshin again.  
"Indeed I do, Hiei. Hiten-Mitsurugi Style: Dou Ryu Sen!" Kenshin yelled again as he slashed his sword in an underhand motion. Almost immediately, small pebbles and bits of dirt started flying threw the air towards Hiei from the force of the blow, and the wind, combined with all of the flying debris stopped Hiei in his tracks. In fact, Hiei, so light as he was, was having a hard time trying to not get blown away himself. And, to add insult to injury, his already bloodstained coat was soon covered in tiny cuts and rips. Hiei decided that it was a lost cause and threw his jacket to the ground.  
"Yusuke, now you definitely owe me 300 skrull skulls, my jacket really is ruined now!! And I don't care if you know a really good tailor that could fix this, either!"  
"Geese, alright already, Hiei, I'll get you another freakin' coat. Now stop messin' around and prove you're the biggest badass I know!" Yusuke screamed.  
"Alright Kenshin, prepare yourself. SWORD OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!" Hiei screamed as his sword was engulfed in black fire. Hiei then charged Kenshin at an even faster pace, and Kenshin was so caught off guard by what Hiei had done to his sword that he could just manage dodging a fatal hit. As it was, even with his god-like speed, Kenshin was still grazed deeply by the attack, and he couldn't believe how much pain such a slash was causing. *If anything, he's gotten faster with every blow, and that technique he used on his sword only made him faster. Maybe it is time I tried something a little more powerful.*  
"Ugh. That technique of yours is very powerful, I must admit. But now let me show you the third most powerful attack of the Hiten-Mitsurugi Style: Kuzu Ryu Sen!" Suddenly, all Hiei could see was Kenshin holding what looked like nine different swords, each aimed at a different part of his body. Hiei knew that there was no way he could dodge such a fast attack, and with nine different swords, he wouldn't be able to block all of them. But suddenly he had an idea. *His Battou-Jutsu was the fastest attack , second only to this one, that I've ever seen, so maybe I can use it myself, but with a few variations of my own.* As Hiei was thinking this, he put his sword back in its sheath and twisted it around so that when it came out, it would be the flat side that would come out and make the hit, rather then the blade. He also changed his stance to the same one that Kenshin had used when he performed the Battou-Jutsu, but had his left foot out front, rather then his right.  
*What? it cannot be! That's impossible!* Kenshin thought when he saw what Hiei was doing. He would have stopped the attack right then and there, but he was already to close, and his inertia would have carried him over anyway. When Hiei unsheathed his sword Kenshin could only hope that he would survive.  
"Hiten-Mitsurugi Style: Ama Kakeru Ryu No Hirameki, with flat side variation. Congratulations Hiei, you've performed the succession technique without killing me." Kenshin said weakly as he collapsed to the ground, completely unconscious.  
During the whole fight, no one noticed the crow that had been watching along with them. After seeing what had happened it flew softly away into the night.  
  
***********  
  
"Oh yes. I'll definitely want to send one of my stronger lieutenants for this group. I don't think even I can laugh after seeing this."  
  
What the hell!? Hiei performed the succession technique without killing Kenshin? Apparently such a thing is possible. And you know it's bad when Mister Voice in the Dark doesn't laugh at something. What could all this mean?  
  
P.S. Don't forget to send in your vote for which story I should start next. Rules and so forth are in the last chapter. 


	8. Consequences

Hey people, it's another new chapter. Now concerning the election for which story I'm starting next, the Yugioh/InuYasha crossover is way in the lead with just one vote, so if you want something else from me, you're gonna have to say so. Also since I've always wanted to incite a riot, spread the word that poorly spelled fanfics that take months for new chapters don't have to be the norm! This does not have to be a black sheep in the fanfic community! Yell it in the streets! WE WANT GRAMMER THAT DOESN'T MAKE OUR BRAIN OOZE OUT OF OUR EARS! WE WANT SPELLING THAT ISN'T ON A FIRST GRADE LEVEL!! WE DON'T WANT CHARACTERS THAT ACT LIKE MENTALLY CHALLENGED PRAWNS IF THEY AREN'T LIKE THAT IN THE SHOW!!! Yes my minions! We can be heard! We will be heard! Stop encouraging writers who insist on plots that sound like they came from a 2nd grader's daydream!  
Good. Now that that's taken care of, on with the story!  
  
Chapter Seven: Consequences (insert witticism here)  
  
"Kenshin!" screamed Kaoru as she ran toward the fallen warrior, "What have you done to him, you beast! Oh, Kenshin!" Hiei could only look on in astonishment as the women started beating on his chest, which was actually rather comical considering that he was a good two feet shorter then she was.  
"Kaoru, Kenshin is alright, he's still breathing, Hiei just knocked him unconscious. Everything is fine, so don't you worry. Yahiko! Go get Megumi, tell her Kenshin has been hurt, that ought to get her here in two seconds." Sanosuke ordered as he tried to calm Kaoru down.  
"That should not be necessary, Yahiko. Yukina, Botan, and I are all trained healers, and besides all Kenshin really needs is rest, though I suppose we should do something a bout that bruise." Kurama said. Yahiko looked to Sanosuke, who just sighed and nodded his assent.  
"Alright then, get to work. If there's anything you need then say the word and you'll get it." Sano said, hoping that they really could help Kenshin out.  
"Kurama meant healers, not doctors. Maybe if we were dealing with a poison or a disease, we might have needed some of your help, but for dealing with a bruise, well, I'll have him fixed up before you can say "domo arigato!" Botan answered.  
"Fine then, domo arigato." Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Kaoru said in unison.  
"All done!" Botan chirped happily just as the three were finished, causing a particularly large anime fall-a-thon with sweatdrops aplenty for everyone.  
"Now all Mr. Kenshin needs is good nights' sleep and a nice breakfast when he wakes up. Other than that, he's good to go." Botan continued as the others got up.  
"Alright, fine. I guess it is rather late. Sano, put Kenshin in his room. The rest of you: we need to talk." Kaoru demanded after she had calmed down a bit. Yusuke and the others were sweating by the bucket as they thought of what might happen after she learned what was going on.  
*Oh, boy. This will not be fun. I've dealt with rampaging demons and jerks capable of conquering the entire freakin' planet, so how come I just know that if it came right down to a confrontation between me and her, that I would loose, and badly. Such is the life of a super hero.* Yusuke thought dejectedly as he followed Kaoru down the hall to the common room.  
"Okay, you six. Spill it. No one's ever been able to pull off such a move except Kenshin and the other masters of the Hiten-Mitsurugi Style, then shorty here does it almost instinctively. How is that possible?  
After a nervous pause, Yusuke and the others told her and Yahiko the same story they had told Sanosuke and Kenshin. When they shortly came to the part about Yusuke being a spirit detective with Kuwabara being some sort of freelancer/aid sort of guy, and with Hiei, Kurama, Yukina, and for lack of a better term, Botan, were all demons and apparitions, well they had the sort of look people get when they know that what they are hearing can't possibly be true even against the face of all evidence (mainly that of Hiei's mastering the Ama Kakeru Ryu No Hirumeki and Botan's healing abilities).  
"I really don't know what to think, but if Kenshin thinks we should help you, then we will. But Hiei, I really want to know how you were able to pull of Kenshin's most powerful attack, and in the same sort of circumstances that it's learned." Yahiko requested when Yusuke and the others had finished.  
"Honestly, I really don't know. I had never even heard of the Hiten- Mitsurugi Style before now; my best guess is that I was extremely lucky." Hiei responded.  
"Hahahahahahah, well Hiei, then you'll need to get lucky again very quickly, especially if you want to beat me!" an unseen voice threatened from somewhere in the dark outside.  
"Oh, enough of this. You guys have fought enough for one day. I don't care if this is the big bad himself; I'll take care of him this time. Let it never be said that Sansuke Sagara was afraid of a challenge! Even if it is from a no doubt ultra-powerful demon bent on murdering everyone here." Sanosuke exclaimed as he got ready for a fight.  
  
************  
"Hmph, Sanosuke Sagara, challenging someone so far out of his league that he has absolutely no chance of winning. What a novel concept. Hehehehhehehe."  
  
Oy vey, it's Mister Voice in the Dark, and he's laughing again. But in all seriousness, does Sano really not stand a chance against this as yet unseen foe? Find out next time. You'll only have to wait till tomorrow, I mean presumably you people can wait that long, right? Right?  
  
P.S. Don't forget to vote for your next story, be heard or be ignored! 


	9. Sanosuke Kicks Demon Ass

Sorry if I offended anyone (you know who you are) about what I said in the intro of my last chapter, but some things just should not be left unsaid (and some people, uninsulted), but in all seriousness, would you people enjoy this fic quite as much as you do now if I did not religiously proofread every chapter to the best of my ability, to search for any stupid mistakes, or stuff that just was not conveyed properly? How many fics can you think of that would be so much better if they were actually legible? If your brain really didn't feel like it was oozing out of your ears because of all the mistakes and errors and really stupid plot? Well, how many? I'm asking a serious question and I really do hope for a serious answer, though I suppose that I do realize that may be difficult for some people. I realize that this is not a serious hobby for most people, but how hard is it to use a simple spell checker? I mean, usually it searches for errors automatically, so how come everyone ignores it? And I'm not talking about the writers that are still in elementary school, they typically can't be helped, but about all of the high school students and college kids that really are supposed to know this sort of thing. I mean I'm only sixteen years old, and yet I'm out writing people twice my age, and I can assure you that I am far from an A student. Just because you have multiple people living in your head doesn't give you an excuse to write like, well. like a mentally challenged prawn (well, alright. I suppose it does. But typically, people with such a problem are in no condition to write anyway). And I really do expect a response from somebody on this. Anyway, on with the freakin' story.  
  
Chapter 8: Sanosuke Kicks Demon Ass (or nearest demonic equivalent)  
  
"Hahahaha, I think you suffer from overconfidence, human. The Spirit Detective and his friends might have stood a chance, even though they themselves still couldn't see or sense me. You can barely hear me, and even then, only because I want you two." Said an oily voice in the dark. Sanosuke tried as hard as he could, but he still could not see where the voice was coming from, but he got the impression that he wasn't supposed to.  
"Alright, Mister Invisible, it's pretty obvious that you're not human, but I hardly call it fair when you can't see your opponent, so why don't you came and fight me like a man. Or demon. whatever. Just fight fairly, damnit." Sano said, trying to intimidate his unseen foe, though even he had to admit that it was a pretty stupid attempt.  
"Hahaha, and where did you get the idea that fairness came into this? You challenged me yourself, so it's hardly my fault if you do something so stupid like charging into a battle where you don't even know what who, let alone what, you will fight against. It is thine own fault, and you shall die because of it! I hope you have made peace with yourself, not that it will help you. SHADOW STRIKE!"  
Suddenly, the voice that always does the item and attack overviews in YuYu Hakusho effectively stopped time so that he could do his little spiel.  
*SHADOW STRIKE* "An attack using the negative energies of both the user and the opponent to create a large blast. Though typically stronger against demons because of their almost always evil natures, it is still a deadly attack against humans, especially ones that are angry, greedy, or generally sinful."  
"Unghh. Wha? Whoa. I'm still here! Hah! Guess that attack of yours isn't as powerful as you thought, huh?" Sanosuke laughed as he realized that the demon's attack had left him completely unfazed.  
The demon made no response but started counting instead "4, 3, 2. now!"  
"AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!! WHAT'S GOING ON!? I CAN FELL MY INSIDES SPINING AROUND AND AROUND AND OH GOD!" Sanosuke screamed suddenly.  
"Hehehe, funny human. The Shadow Strike is a delayed attack. At seven seconds, you are far from truly evil, but you still harbor much hatred in your soul. If you had been much worse then you would probably be unconscious by now. As it is, you cannot hope to defeat me. I am the shadows themselves, human! You cannot touch me! You cannot hurt me! Hahahaha."  
"Ungh. wait. The shadows themselves, huh? Yahiko! Kaoru! Blow out those candles! Now!" Sano ordered, an idea forming in his usually underused mind. The two didn't know what Sanosuke was talking about, but for once they trusted his judgment on something.  
"Wha? Wait! Noooooooo!! Oh, crap!" The shadow demon whimpered in defeat as the lights went out. Everyone was rather shocked that Sano's idea had actually worked, but they were happy that it had nonetheless.  
"Haha! It worked! I didn't really know what to expect there, but sometimes genius just happens! Oh, yeah, Who's the resident smart person now, eh?!" Everyone did a fall when he said that last bit.  
"I believe it was the same sort of stupid ingenuity that beat me when we fought, right Yusuke? Hiei asked, rhetorically.  
"Yes, Hiei. It was." Yusuke answered, still on the ground.  
  
************  
"Ya know, I really was not expecting that. I really wasn't. Hehem."  
  
Well they say the brain is the strongest muscle in the body, but I don't think they meant it quite like that. Oh wait. yes they did.  
  
P.S. Come on people! We now have two things to argue about! Which story I'll be doing next and whether you think I'm a complete and utter bastard for saying that people could do a lot better if they just used a spell checker. I really am looking for a response here, so don't keep me hangin'. Please? 


	10. Yahiko's Ryu Tsui Meichudan Sokeibu!

Ya know I really was expecting more of a response; the only people who sent in anything was Portal-girl and Ss JK. Heh, maybe I really did insult a lot of people, but I hardly understand how that would make my point weaker. Oh, well. At least Yahiko gets some action (and not that way, you pedophile sickos). By the way, we still need more voters, or do you really want me to do a Yugioh/InuYasha crossover?  
  
Chapter 9: Yahiko's Ryu Tsui Meichudan Sokeibu! (and they say natural child birth is the worst sort of pain a person can feel. *shudders*)  
  
"Well, that fight was rather anti-climactic. Anyway, unless there are anymore interruptions!" Kurama yelled into the night, practically daring another demon to manifest itself, "then I think we can finally get some well deserved sleep."  
"Yeah, you people can just find a room somewhere; I'll pull out the extra futons for everyone if you'll just wait another moment." Kaoru said as she went off to do just that.  
And as would expected the, guys and the girls each found their own room. There were not enough for every person to have their own though, so almost everyone with Yusuke's group had to share. As would only be appropriate, Botan and Yukina paired up, and Hiei had the same room as Kurama, and Yusuke and Kuwabara were stuck with each other, against their wishes (and trust me on this, if there was any, uh, bedroom style hanky- panky, I would not know, and in the case of the guys, would not care either. I know how some of you guys may think, I've checked out the YuYu Hakusho section too, ya know, and well, suffice it to say. . . ewww)  
"Come on you two, if you were actually comfortable with your sexuality, you wouldn't care if you were sleeping in the same room. Now go in there and if it really is so much of a problem, then just sleep out in the hallway, it's too late for this sort of argument." Botan admonished, though she knew that Yusuke and Kuwabara still probably would not get much sleep no matter what she said.  
"Alright, then how come I can't share a room with Yukina, Botan?" Kuwabara pleaded.  
"Because you are fourteen years old, and I don't want to share a room with Yusuke either." Botan said simply.  
"HEY!! I heard that Botan! Not wanting me to get in a fight that's way over my head is one thing, but I won't have you insulting my personal hygiene!" Yusuke screamed indignantly.  
"This from a man who obviously hasn't showered in over a week, let alone changed his clothes. Come to think of it, about the only thing you have taken care of is your hair." Hiei belligerently snickered.  
"I'll have you know that there are a lot of women who happen to like my manly smell, half-pint." Said Yusuke sarcastically.  
"Really? Maybe you should introduce some of them to Keiko then." Hiei replied, angry about yet another joke on his height.  
"Grrrr, fine then. I'm goin' ta bed." Yusuke growled, upset about Hiei's shot at his and Keiko's relationship.  
Soon afterward, everyone else was asleep as well, but Botan was right. Yusuke and Kuwabara really did stay up most of the night worrying whether they would feel something they really did not want to feel.  
  
The next day everyone was up and since Kaoru knew that there was absolutely no way that she or Kenshin (who had, rather surprisingly, woken up with everyone else almost as though nothing had happened) could cook for ten people, so they all went to the local beef-pot joint, the Akebeko. Kenshin, as explained, was fine, but he did admit that he probably would not be up for much fighting today. Hiei could only wonder at the man's constitution, and his humility.  
As is so often the case at the Akebeko, it was full of people talking, joking, and whining about how bad the government was. No one really noticed that last bit though, since they were all used to it, but Yusuke's group really didn't know what they were all complaining about, but when Yusuke was about to say something, Kaoru just pulled on his shirt and whispered "Let it go, they're just drunk, and they aren't worth causing trouble over." Yusuke, for once, listened to the voice of reason. At least until some of the more burly, drunk, and most definitely unkempt of them came over and started ogling Kaoru, Yukina, and Botan. No one but they were amused.  
"Hey, hey, hey *hic*, I'ss missesssess Dojo lady! And she bought some *hic* friends too!" One yelled to his comrades.  
"Yeah, whas ar pretty womenenenen like you doin *hic* here? And whas wit' all dese *hic* friends a'yors?" another thug, more drunk then the last said, eyeing Botan as he did.  
"It's alright, guys. Yahiko needs the practice, and he said a few days ago that he had come up with a technique for just such an occasion." Kaoru said nonchalantly as she noticed the guys getting ready to kick some (human) ass.  
"Hey, yeah, I almost forgot. This is a little something I developed for dealing with drunken idiots like these guys, but I'm gonna need a little more room, so could you guys move out of the way. . ." Yahiko explained as he slid into the main aisle.  
"Alright people, you have two choices: you can leave us alone and get sobered up, or I can give you a little demonstration of the newest Kamiya-Kashin Style attack." Yahiko yelled at the (significantly larger) men as he got into a sword fighting stance and unsheathed his wooden practice sword.  
"Hahaha *hic* the little shrimp's gonnanana fight us! Us! Hahahaha." Another drunkard said as he started charging towards Yahiko.  
"Fine then. Kamiya-Kashin Style: Ryu Tsui Meichudan Sokeibu!" For you non Japanese speakers out their, this (rough) translation should pretty much explain everything significantly better than any paragraph I could write. Ryu Tsui Meichudan Sokeibu basically means: Dragon Mallet Hits Groin (A/N this is basically the entire point behind this chapter, stupid I know, but my juvenile sense of humor still keeps surfacing, damn it to hell. If you don't understand what I mean, then you are a women).  
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the drunkards effectively turning the Akebeko into an impromptu opera house, made entirely of sopranos. Needless to say, there was quite a bit of laughter, most of which came from Yusuke and Kuwabara, though Kurama, Sanosuke, and to a lesser extant, Hiei and Kenshin sniggered.  
"Awesome attack dude! Seriously! That is going on my top ten list of funniest things ever!" Kuwabara yelled as he gave Yahiko a high five.  
"Hmph, I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I think that actually does deserve to be a technique in the Kamiya-Kashin Style. You actually have been paying attention Yahiko." Kaoru said proudly, and with just a hint of satisfaction as she watched the thugs rolling around on the floor.  
"Yeah, well, you were kind of my inspiration Kaoru. You always do make every training session feel like a jab to the crotch." Yahiko said smugly with a surprisingly large smile on his face, even though he was completely expecting the reaction he got.  
Let us skip that part, you all know what will happen, at least if you've ever seen the show.  
  
***********************  
"Ouch. Hehehehe."  
  
Okay, a voice in the dark that watches its opponents day and night is one thing, but there is just something about a guy that doesn't let out a loud guffaw when another guy gets a wooden stick jabbed into his groin that just creeps me out. I guess he did let out a little weasel laugh, but that hardly counts. See ya next chapter (maybe)!  
  
P.S. I still need more votes on what my next story should be on, just put them in the review! 


	11. Chores and Annoying People

I have just one question for you people now: have you hugged your Amish person today?  
On with the chapter!  
  
Chapter Ten: Chores and Annoying People (no, seriously, have you hugged your Amish person lately?)  
  
"Unghhh, I don't want to do chores today. We're supposed to be savin' the freakin' world, people! How would doing chores help with that!?" Yusuke whined. For the most part he was ignored, which was mainly Botan's fault since she had told Kenshin's group to do just that, though well out of earshot of him.  
"We're doing these chores to help them, Yusuke. The dojo was not meant to house ten people, and though we are paying them a good deal of money, we still need to help them out. It's only polite, after all." Botan admonished.  
"Hey, wait, where did you get all this money anyway, Botan? I know times have changed and all that, but I think it would take quite a bit more then the average person could hold for all this." Kuwabara asked, innocently.  
"Why with this handy dandy Spirit Purse of course!" Botan said. Suddenly the disembodied voice stooped time again to give his explanation.  
*SPIRIT PURSE* A source of near infinite money, that is only given to Spirit agents for the duration of their assignment. All a user must do is have a specific amount of money in mind and the purse will always come up with exact change. Many demons attempt to steal these valuable objects for obvious reasons. None have succeeded. There is a Spirit Wallet for male agents with the exact same capabilities.  
"Figures. Let me guess. I'd probably be relentlessly tortured if I took that thing and refused to give it back, right?" Yusuke asked sarcastically.  
"Correctamundo, Yusuke!" Botan answered, chipper as always.  
"All right you three, you're to get groceries, here's the list and where you should be able to get them. Hiei, Kurama, you guys will need to get some more utensils and a new hibachi. We have one already, but there's no way we could feed everyone with what we have. Sano, Yahiko, you two are in charge of getting some more coal and firewood, we're almost out and we need some if we're going to be cooking anything. Kenshin and I will go to miss Megumi's and see about getting some painkillers and such for Kenshin. Now, off you go!" Kaoru ordered as she looked to everyone in turn.  
From now the rest of this chapter and the next few will be split up into their respective "teams" until they have completed their "MISSIONS OF DOOM" (A/N I'll shut up now)  
  
*Team Yusuke*  
"WHAAAAAAA!?!?!? There must be three million items on this list! There's no way this dinky little town could have all this stuff, and how the hell would we carry it all if it did!? I mean, the shopping cart hasn't even been invented yet!" Yusuke screamed as the shopping list comically unfolded itself into a large pile around his feet.  
"Don't worry Yusuke; the Spirit Purse can hold all this, no problem. Though I do admit, this does seem like rather a lot for ten people. But hey, I think we can get most of what we need in this street here!" Botan explained as she pointed around. She was right, many of the stalls they were looking for were very close together, and the only real problem was getting everything in time for dinner.  
"Well, then I guess we should get started, looks like we got a long day ahead of us. I hope somebody bought foot cream, cause we're gonna need it." Kuwabara said. Not even Yusuke could disagree with that sentiment.  
  
*Team Hiei/Kurama*  
"You sir! Do you know where we could get a large hibachi? One big enough for ten people? No? damn." Hiei asked for the tenth time to the tenth merchant.  
"Where are we going to get such a large hibachi!? No one knows where a hibachi dealer is! This is insane!" Hiei screamed at no one in particular. Luckily for him, bare-chested small people with large spiky hair weren't uncommon in Meiji Tokyo.  
"Don't worry Hiei; I'm sure there's someone who can help us out." Kurama said, trying to calm the irate demon down.  
"Psst, you two, over here! You looking for large hibachi? I get you one, real cheap, just two hundred Yen! It not feed ten people, it feed fifteen!" said a greasy voice from a previously unseen stall in a back corner.  
"Like him over there." Kurama said, just a little surprised.  
Let's go check him out." Hiei said as he started walking.  
  
*Team Sano/Yahiko*  
"Well, the firewood shouldn't be too much of a problem; I can just punch a few trees down and be done with it, so why don't you go take care of getting that coal, Yahiko?" Sano asked as he prepared to do a little deforestation.  
"Uhh, Sano, I'm gonna kinda' need money for that. Coal ain't cheap, you know?" Yahiko explained sarcastically. Sanosuke never had money for anything.  
"Enh, just go ask Botan, she always has money, I'm sure she'll give you some." Sano answered. Neither of them noticed the tree roots creeping up behind the other.  
  
*Team Kenshin/Kaoru*  
"Ohh, I just hate that woman! Grrrrrr." Kaoru grumbled on general principle. Kenshin had learned long ago to just let Kaoru grumble her frustrations out, at least when they concerned the ever-flirtatious Megumi. Suddenly they heard a scream coming from near the dojo, where Yahiko and Sanosuke where finishing there chores. They looked at each other, and knew what they had to do.  
  
***************  
  
"Heheheh, forest sprites, so easy to manipulate. Too bad they probably won't do much more then give them a good scare on their own, so maybe I should 'help them out a little.' Hahahaha. . ."  
  
Man, more laughter in the dark, and now he's going to help those sprites to try and kill Yahiko and Sano. The bastard.  
  
P.S. Okay, two votes for the Yugioh/InuYasha fic, come on people let yourselves be heard! Just put your vote in the review, and don't be afraid to suggest something original! 


	12. Where's a Chainsaw When You need it?

Well, well, well, three votes for Yugioh/InuYasha, so it's still way in the lead, though an original vote for YuYu Hakusho/InuYasha has made an appearance. If you want to be heard then make it so! On with the chapter!  
  
Chapter 11: Where's a Chainsaw When You Need it? (groovy. . . inside joke)  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF!" Sanosuke screamed in terror as the roots began entangling his feet and legs  
"NO! GET IT OFF ME FIRST! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Yahiko screamed, instinctively trying to get on Sano's nerves.  
Suddenly, Sano remembered his main trick: the Futae no Kiwami. Almost instinctively, he shattered the roots and branches trying to strangle him, then against his better judgment, he helped Yahiko out of his predicament. They were about to make a run for it when the one thing neither of them wanted to see jumped out of the ground. The voice did his spiel.  
*VINE GOLEM* Not so much a demon as it is a construct, the Vine Golem is a favored weapon of tree and forest spirits because of its immense strength and speed, as well as its ability to quickly dissolve into the forest and reconstitute itself at the will of its master.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MONSTER!!!!!!!!" Sanosuke and Yahiko screamed, in an admirable parody of Scooby and Shaggy. They would have run away again, but the monster had already grabbed them; they were about to be crushed when Sanosuke managed to do another Futae no Kiwami on the vines holding him, and he managed to save Yahiko again as he fell to the ground. When they hit the ground, the golem was gone.  
"Hah! And let that be a lesson to all monsters and demons out their: don't screw with Sanosuke Sagara! Not if you want to have all of your original tentacles at least! Hah!" yelled Sanosuke, always magnanimous in victory  
"RRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"Mommy."  
  
"Did any of you guys hear something?" Kuwabara asked as he was stuffing groceries into the Spirit Purse.  
"No, I don't think so." Botan and Yusuke answered  
  
*Man, every time I smash this thing it just reappears somewhere else. There must be some sort of power source that's reenergizing it, but where is it!?* Sanosuke thought as he ran away from and fought back the construct at the same time. Suddenly, Yahiko noticed a strange glowing near the golems head, just a few inches above it.  
"Sano, there! Above that thing's head! It's a sort of greenish glowy thingy! Maybe that's what you need to smash instead!" Sano quickly obliged by smashing it with another Futae no Kiwami. As hoped, the golem quickly dissipated with its power source destroyed.  
"Finally. Thanks Yahiko. Maybe you're not as useless as I thought. You actually helped out there, kid." Sano said innocently. You should know what happens next, but if you don't, then suffice it to say that Sano would have preferred to fight another vine golem then go through what Yahiko did to him again.  
  
"Wait. . . 200 yen you said? we don't have 200 hundred yen." Kurama explained to the now irate hibachi dealer.  
"No money, no hibachi! You want hibachi, You get 200 yen! No bartering! No trading! No haggling! 200 yen or no hibachi!" Screamed the dealer, nearly deafening Kurama and Hiei.  
"Well if you won't listen to reason, then why don't you listen to my sword. . . demon. I knew you weren't human the second I smelled your scent, so unless you want me to turn you into sashimi, you arrogant son of a @*#& (that does not mean bitch), then I suggest you give us the hibachi and extend us a line of credit." Hiei said, menacing as always.  
"Yessir." Squeaked the demonic hibachi dealer.  
  
"Hungh, finally. I thought we'd never get all this stuff. Are you absolutely, positively, certain that we have everything that lady asked for, Botan?" Yusuke asked, tired from having to lug everything into that purse. Just because it could hold everything didn't mean that it all became weightless, he and Kuwabara had been taking turns holding the thing all day, much to the amusement of onlookers, who just saw two strong boys having trouble keeping it from crushing their feet.  
"Yes, I am Yusuke. Let's get back to the dojo so we can start on cooking some of this!" Botan chirped, blissfully ignorant of the two boys' pain as they struggled to carry it together.  
  
When Kenshin and Kaoru finally got to the dojo, all they saw was a bruised and bloody Sanosuke and Yahiko.  
"I am never going to punch trees again." Sano said, as he fell asleep from exhaustion, right onto Yahiko.  
"I am never going with him when he punches trees again." Yahiko said as he collapsed onto the floor with Sano on top of him (A/N not that way, you pedophile sickos!). Kenshin and Kaoru could only look on in astonishment.  
  
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"Well, that was rather fun. Too bad about the vine golem, now that they know how to defeat them and all, but it was still fun."  
  
What will happen now that Sano and Yahiko are unconscious? How about a buffet? With DEMONS!!! Find out next chapter!  
  
P.S. Still need more votes for my next story, just put them in the review! 


	13. Don't You Just Love Buffets?

Hows-a-dinkee-do people!? Gods, I'm bored. Anyway, have you guys checked out my new story yet, 'cause you had better. I mean you did technically vote for it, and yet it has only gotten two reviews. It's called "Some Game" and, as requested, it's a Yugioh/InuYasha X-over, so read it. Now. Also, try to ignore the ' and the ", they are just apostrophes and quotation marks, but if anybody has any idea as to how I can get rid of these things, I would be EXTREMELY appreciative. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 12: Don't You Just Love Buffets? (oooh, potstickers!)  
  
After everyone had safely gotten back to the dojo, Kaoru gave the marching orders for everyone, "Okay people, listen up! We got ten people to feed and there's no way I'm doing all the cooking and cleaning. Girls do food, guys do dishes! If you have a complaint, then suck it up! Everybody got it? Excellent." Sano and Yahiko were still pretty tired, but after Botan had healed them up, they were rather surprised to hear that they had actually defeated one of the more powerful kinds of golem when they had finished telling everyone what had happened to them in the forest as everyone started eating.  
"Heh, I'd like to see this Futae no Kiwami, sounds like it could come in handy when you think about all of the people that have tried to keep us tied up or something, I mean that time in Maze Castle alone would have made up for all the hassle in learning it." Kuwabara thought aloud.  
"I agree, Kuwabara. Perhaps you should consider learning it" Kurama said, knowing that Kuwabara did have a point.  
"Heh, while on the subject of using other people's attacks, I think I speak for everyone when I ask: What exactly did happen last night? Kenshin, before you passed out you said something about Hiei performing a succession technique? The Ami Kaku Ryu No Hirumiki, or something?" Yusuke asked, and indeed, that had been on everyone's mind (at least while they weren't being chased through the woods by a giant monster).  
"It's actually called the Ama Kakeru Ryu No Hirameki, and yes, it is the succession technique for the Hiten-Mitsurugi Style. Typically, when performed exactly right, it kills the master who uses the Kuzu Ryu Sen. But instead of hitting me with the blade, Hiei managed to use the flat side of his sword, which spread the force of the impact out just enough to avoid a fatal blow. Normally, such a thing is impossible; even I have only been able to do it a few times, and only during life or death situations. Also, I don't think I could perform a flat blade variation, like Hiei. It would just be too slow to be effective. That is probably the point where Hiei's inherent speed came in, and allowed him to do something that I doubt any normal human could." Kenshin explained  
"Heh, Kenshin, I know normal people, you are not normal people. The only reason you didn't win was because Hiei surprised you. If that attack had hit, I doubt Hiei would have gotten up anytime soon," Hiei started choking when he heard this, and Kurama stated slapping his back to dislodge the stray shrimp, which hit Yahiko straight in the forehead.  
"I'll have you know that I would have gotten back up, Urameshi. I knew that I would have been hurt severely, but I would have gotten up," Hiei told everyone. Yahiko was just recovering from the ballistic shrimp. "But Kenshin, I do have a request. Up until now, I have always used my own sword style, and most of my attacks require spirit energy to perform. I humbly," Hiei gulped a little as he said that, "request to be your student in the Hiten-Mitsurugi Style." Everyone was very surprised to hear this, though for obvious reasons, Yusuke and the others were the most shocked. They knew how much Hiei must have respected Kenshin in order to put his image on the line.  
"I am sorry Hiei. I must refuse your request." Kenshin said, after a great deal of thought.  
"What? Why? You know that there could never possibly be a better student then I! I can and would do everything requested of me, and I am already a highly disciplined swordsman! Why do you refuse me?" Hiei yelled, almost as surprised as everyone else.  
"Some might say that I am afraid to die, for you see, as I said, the student kills the master when they learn the final secret technique of the Hiten-Mitsurugi Style. But they are wrong. It is a good reason yes, but it is not the reason that I will not teach you. The techniques of man should stay with man. If I were to teach you the Hiten-Mitsurugi Style it would be impossible for another human to ever learn it again. And that I cannot allow. Humans must be capable of defending themselves, both from demons, and from each other. You would have to teach it to a student more powerful then yourself, and he would have to teach it again. You would have to die in order to pass it along, and though you may say you would do so now, that does not guarantee that you will later on, when you may begin to fear death. The same is true for you student and his student, and so on. Also, there is absolutely no way of knowing whether your student or any of your heirs would not use it for evil, you said so yourself that most demons are even more corrupt then man, and it would be all too easy for them to become power hungry and mad. That is why I will not accept you as my student, Hiei. I cannot stop you from watching me and learning that way, but there is no way that I can formally teach you. I am sorry." Kenshin, having finished his meal, washed his plate and left to go to bed. Soon afterward everyone followed suit.  
  
*****************  
Interesting story, battousai. Interesting indeed. . ."  
  
Oh boy, mister Voice in the Dark sounds like he has a plan, what are our heroes going to do? Find out next time! (maybe)  
  
P.S. Now that I have two stories going, I'm going to start alternating updates, which means that my other story will be getting a new chapter tomorrow, but not this one. I hope you can handle the suspense! 


	14. Preemptive Strike!

Ahoy there! I know that I didn't update yesterday, but I was writing a "rulebook thingy" for my other fic, check it, there's interesting stuff in there. Now in this chapter, I feel that I must warn you. There will be graphic and violent imagery concerning small animals and children, so if you are a PETA member (the non People-Eating-Tasty-Animals kind I mean) or have a weak stomach, then you will probably not like this chapter, the same applies for small children. I also suggest that you might want to get a bucket. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 13: Preemptive Strike! (Uh-oh, unlucky number!)  
  
In the morning, everyone awoke to a horrific screaming, coming from Kuwabara and Yusuke's room. When they all rushed in to see what had happened, they immediately rushed out again and vomited outside in the plaza and tried to forget the image that they had seen, except for Hiei and Kurama, who, though still stunned, were familiar with such tactics. Also, Kenshin stood by, since he too, was not unfamiliar with how some people sent their messages. The camera shifted into the room, covered in the blood and gore of countless small children and kittens, and amidst it all was a very large rabbit like monster with fangs down to the floor, no skin, and ears that had Yusuke and Kuwabara wrapped tightly. The narrator did his spiel.  
  
*USAGI-ONI* "Once a normal hare, this most vicious of beasts has been corrupted by darkness and evil. Though very rare demons, they are incredibly fast, strong, and intelligent, and are driven by a bloodlust that knows no bounds, and though they typically do have a master, usually the one who corrupted it, this creature is only told where to go. Everything else it does is its own idea, and the only thing it enjoys more than killing and destruction is spreading fear and terror in the hearts and minds of its master's enemies.  
  
"GOOD GOD, HELP US OUT OF HERE!!!" Kuwabara and Yusuke creamed in unison. They had been asleep as the monster had spread its filth and they had only awoken when the beast grabbed them with its prehensile ears. Kurama and Hiei tried to help, but the demonic cottontail kicked them away and slammed its victims into the wall before it threw the two boys into the biggest piles of gore. When Kuwabara tried to get up, he realized that he had inadvertently put his hand on the head of a young girl, with her ponytail wrapped around his hand. He screamed, and then vomited in spite of himself.  
Kenshin knew that he had to act fast if this monstrosity was going to be defeated, but before he was able to make an attack, the creature had already jumped on him and had stabbed him in the head with its teeth. It then turned its attention to Kurama and Hiei, and started to pound them into the floor with its ears until they were an indiscernible mass of blood and flesh and broken bones.  
"AHHHHHHHH - SPIRIT GUN!!" Yusuke yelled, as he fired off his signature attack. But it was not to be. The monster merely swallowed the attack and fired the energy out of its ears and incinerated Kuwabara, leaving nothing but a grizzly shadow on the wall behind him. It then leaped again, and landed on Yusuke's head, crushing it. Afterward it began to feast on the new meat that it had created. Then it hopped outside and began to chase the others.  
  
Botan was trying to fly away, but she was carrying everyone else on her oar and could not get enough height to dodge the beast when it jumped at them. When they had crashed to the ground, it had already speared Botan through the stomach with its teeth, and was beginning to eat her. Sanosuke tried to stop it but when he jumped to do a flying Futae No Kiwami, it just grabbed him out of the air with an ear and squeezed until every bone in his body had broken and blood began to leak out of his mouth and eyes.  
Seeing all the horror that this creature had bought, Yukina tried to freeze it, but the beast merely shrugged the cold off and kicked her so hard in the chest that every rib had snapped and many of them were sticking out though her back.  
Kaoru and Yahiko tried to run away, but the monster jumped in front of them and gored them with its teeth, then it picked up a nearby tree with its ears and crushed them into the ground.  
  
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Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, Kurama, Sanosuke, Botan, Yukina, Kaoru, Yahiko, and Kenshin all awoke from the dream at the same time, with the same cold sweat, and the even colder laughter in their heads. They all knew that this would not be as easy as they had thought.  
  
Okay, I know I'm creeped out, what about you? It looks like mister Voice in the Dark can now influence our heroes dreams, and that cannot be a good sign. I mean, not even I can come up with a sarcastic remark about this little plot twist, and I'm the writer! Maybe things will lighten up next chapter. One can certainly hope. 


	15. Upon Awakening

Sorry about not updating yesterday, but I can assure that it was due to circumstances beyond my control. Anyway, on with the story!  
  
Chapter 14: Upon Awakening (ever notice how your mouth always tastes like cotton soaked in sheep urine when you wake up, even when the closest sheep is over 100 miles away?)  
  
After everyone had awoken from the nightmare of last night, they all went into the common room for a breakfast of leftovers. Everyone was still jumpy and when Yukina knocked over a bowl accidentally, nearly everyone jumped at the noise, expecting an attack. Only Hiei, Kurama, and Kenshin were not a complete bundle of nerves; Hiei and Kurama because they knew what their enemy was trying to do, and Kenshin because he'd had nightmares similar to that ever since the revolution.  
Sensing all of the tension everyone was putting off, Yusuke snapped. "Hnnngh, this is insane! One little nightmare and we're all afraid of our own frikin' shadows?! What happened to us!? We've dealt with people who did stuff like this before! Remember Toguro? Everyday of the tournament, he nearly had me crap my pants when he so much as looked at me! And yet I beat him! That's exactly what we are gonna do here, at least if I have anything to say about it! So this guy gave us all a nightmare, so what? None of us actually died! We are all FINE, dammit! This is exactly what this guy wants us to do, and if I have any say in the matter, we're gonna do the exact opposite of what he wants! He wants us scared? We stand our ground! He wants us to run? We fight till there is nothing left to fight! He wants us to hate and distrust each other? We stick together and listen to each other!" Yusuke screamed. He then started to pant heavily. Everyone was startled by his huge outburst, but Sanosuke rallied behind him.  
"He's right, guys. We can't let this bastard do this to us. That night was the first night I have been afraid since I became a fighter, and I intend to make this guy pay because of it! He made all of us feel weak; as though we couldn't beat his little pet. Well I've never been weak, and I'm gonna make sure that he never messes with Sanosuke Sagara or any of his friends AGAIN!" Sano yelled, smashing a wall in his fury. Thinking that the time was right, Kurama put in his two cents.  
"Yusuke and Sano are correct. Our enemy has merely tested a time honored technique: Psychological Warfare. For now, all he has done is frighten us, and that is his mistake. I suggest we use this fear as our motivation to seek this person out and make sure that he sees justice. Or as painful a death as we can supply." He explained. Kenshin and Hiei said nothing, but they nodded their agreement.  
"Well if that's all we have to do, then let's get started. We all know what to do, but I have some questions like: how in the hell are we gonna do it? I mean, we don't even know what this guy looks like, or his real name, or how powerful he really is. Let alone where his lair might be. Maybe we should try to get some information or something. Wait, Urameshi! Do you still have that compass thingy, I remember you mentioning it once back when we fought Rando. Maybe that could help us out a bit." Kuwabara asked, and everyone else was hoping that his idea would actually work.  
"Uhh. . . sorry guys. I meant to tell you. I mean I did get it, it's just like, not working. Ever since we got here, it's been acting kinda funny. The needle is just swirling around the dial. I mean, I don't think it's broken; I mean its always been in pocket and it isn't cracked or anything." Yusuke explained sheepishly, as he pulled the Spirit Compass out of a pocket. Botan grabbed it, and it was indeed just swirling around, just as Yusuke had said. Seeing this, Botan took a grim expression on her face as she explained the bad news.  
"Oh boy. Yusuke, You're right, it isn't broken. I wish it was though, I really do, because then it wouldn't mean what this does mean. The reason it can't hone in on an exact location is for the same reason none of us can sense any energy. It's like trying to find New York City in the middle of Times Square. And that is because it's all around you. This demon is very, very big."  
No one was happy (or particularly surprised) to hear that.  
  
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"Baum, baum, baaaaauuuuuuuum! Don't you just hate it when you realize you have absolutely no chance of defeating something that wants to kill you. Heheheheheheheh."  
  
Yeah, I do agree, that does kinda suck. (the rest of this epilogue should be imagined as being done by a 1960's narrator for a superhero cartoon) How will our heroes overcome this turn of events? Will Yusuke and his friends defeat the evil voice in the dark? Will sheep ever gain the right to vote? And if so what about horses, cows, and other barnyard creatures? When did my life turn so horribly, horribly wrong? Why does no one love me? Why did my wife leave me for our daughter? Where is Jerry Springer when you need him? 


	16. Don't You Just Hate People Who Chuckle M...

Sup? Sup? Sup? Fashnizzle ma gizzle, baaybaay! I have absolutely no idea what any of that means, but if several million people think that talking like that is cool, than maybe it will get me some more readers. One can hope. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 15: Don't You Just Hate People Who Chuckle Malevolently? (especially in the dark?)  
  
After Botan finished her morbid announcement, you can probably understand why our heroes were rather upset.  
"Uh, Botan, by 'big,' do you mean as in larger then a house or. . . more powerful then all of us combined? Please say just bigger then a house! We've dealt with people bigger then houses. I mean Dr. Ichigaki, several miscellaneous demon guards, and all sorts of other things were all bigger then houses, and they weren't any problem at all. But if this guy is more powerful, then maybe we should, oh, I don't know, CALL IN BACKUP!!? Or at least get some training and practice, 'cause I really don't want to get killed." Kuwabara asked, and though Hiei was disgusted by such blatant cowardice, Yusuke and Sanosuke were behind him all the way in that suggestion. Then they noticed the strange smoke beginning to seep in through the walls, like darkness made gas. Then they heard the chuckling.  
"Hehehehe. . . you really should listen to your friend there, he's actually talking sense for once. Oh, forgive me my manners. I am the one you were sent to find and destroy. I am the Drowned Man. Well, I'm really more of a. . . psychic projection, you might say. But getting back to the task at hand, I shall give you two options: you may all leave this time, or you may fight me and lose. Now I know hat option number one will probably never be considered, or at least not seriously, so since I'm a good sport and I like a little fun every now and again, I'm going to give one month to prepare yourselves, physically and mentally. I won't send you any more or those overly graphic nightmares, or send any other demons and bandit lords after you. But know this: I will be training as well, along with my five most powerful minions. Consider this your next tournament; the winners are the ones who survive. And we will be fighting to the death, of that, can assure you all. Hehehe. . ." Said a vaguely humanoid shadow. Yusuke responded in kind.  
"Oh yeah, mister Voice in the Dark!? Is that all you demons can keep thinking about? Tournaments to the death?! Why can't we ever just talk these things OUT?! Why does it always have to be a frickin' fight? But if that's how you want it, then fine. I could use the workout, as could we all. Just tell us where to go."  
"That will not be a problem for you to concern yourself with. I will be taking care of such details myself. Good bye, hahahaha. . ." the shadow answered evilly, as it faded into the shadows from which it had come. Everyone knew that they would not like those "details," whatever they would be.  
Kuwabara was not happy with Yusuke speaking for everyone again, but he knew that all he could do now was get his complaining out of the way while he still had a chance. "Oh thanks a lot, Yusuke. Maybe not all of us have such a huge death wish! I don't know about you, But I know I don't wanna die, or compete in another stinkin' tournament! But I guess if we have no choice, then we had better get started."  
"Actually, I've been hoping for just such an occasion, Kuwabara. Our psychic friend has given us a month to prepare ourselves, and I have an idea. Yoko Kurama. He is still alive, and will be for over a century. All we have to do is get to the demon world and find him, and I know exactly where he is. Once we meet him, I am sure he will accept us as a member of his bandit party, and from there, we will be able to get several years worth of experience on his raids by fighting guards and demons." Kurama explained, and everyone could feel their hopes actually growing.  
"Ehehe. Sorry Kurama, but that's a little easier said then done. I suppose, if we were exceedingly lucky, we might be able to get to the demon world, but we would still have to gain Yoko's trust. Now I know that you probably have some idea about telling him something only he would know, but doing it in such a way that wouldn't get us killed is quite another story. Also, we really need to do this with as few people as possible learning who and what we are, what with Temporal Instability and all that. But, I think we might have a shot, if we are much more lucky then we deserve." Botan explained sheepishly. Everyone's hopes were quickly dashed.  
"Uh, what does Temporal Instability mean?" asked Yusuke.  
"We have already screwed up history by going here in the first place and telling everyone in this dojo what we are doing here. If we tell Yoko, things will only get worse." Botan explained.  
"Oh, okay. Then call me Lucky, 'cause that's what we are gonna do!"  
  
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"Oh well. Maybe they will be fun, at least with any luck. Better call my gym, it's about time I started using that group membership. Heheheheh."  
  
Oh boy. Looks everybody is about to be kung fu fighting, but will they be as fast as lightning? Except for Hiei and Kenshin, we already kinda know about them. But how will our group fair in attempting to get Yoko's help in training, and just what gym does mister Voice in the Dark use anyway? I just hope it's not a YMCA, because that would just be too silly. Hey, cool. I put in two Village People references in one epilogue. Awesome. 


	17. Searching for Answers

It is time, The Walrus said, to speak of many things. Like anime, and fan fiction, and how Hussein's a dingaling. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 16: Searching for Answers (give me your. . . tostadas. That's right! You heard me! Give me your Mexican food!)  
  
"Grrrr, Koenma! what do you mean you don't have anything on this guy?!" Screamed Yusuke, talking to the toddler king through a communication mirror.  
"Exactly that Yusuke. We seem to be having the same sort of problem that we did with the Saint Beasts. We just do not seem to have anything on this guy. I mean, demons with psychic abilities are a dime a dozen, and though the ability to psychically personify one's self within the consciousness of another or groups of other people is even rarer, I have everyone listed with such abilities accounted for. They are actually right here with me!" Koenma answered.  
"Hmmm. . . Yusuke. You say this demon manipulated your dreams right? And he then produced an image to communicate with you? Tell me, what did this image look like?" asked a new voice, which came from an otherwise humanoid demon, except that he was orange and had a face like a lobster, with two rather menacing claws where a mustache would be, and for some unknown reason, spoke with an English accent.  
"Uhh, well it came from out of this smoke or something, like it was made of it. Looked like a human, you know? Two arms, two hands, one head. There really wasn't a waist, that was where it came out of the smoke, and the head was just a head, there weren't any eyes or mouths or noses. Why do you ask? And just who are you, anyway?"  
"Ah yes, forgive me, I am Ebichinou. Remember Rando? I was one of his earlier victims, as is most everyone here, and though I would like to thank and congratulate you, along with everyone else, I ask because such manifestations usually do lend clues, at least concerning the power of and who may have taught the psychic. Sadly, you describe the sort of manifestation that almost anyone with a modicum of talent could produce. Normally that would be a good thing, but this is probably a case of someone who knows this fact as well, rather then just some novice." The demonic crustacean answered.  
Learning this, Yusuke decided to move on to the other matter at hand. "Alright, then Koenma, one more thing. We need a pass to the demon world; Kurama says that he should be able to convince Yoko to let us train with him, and we really could use this opportunity to get stronger. Yoko was one of the biggest bad-asses in this millennium, wasn't he? And we all agree that he could help us." he asked.  
Koenma was not surprised to hear this, though this was a case where he would have been happier wrong. "Enhhh," he sighed, "that's gonna take some work to do. I suppose it could be arranged, but if it was, Kurama would have to be right. Yoko was not against killing those who failed his little initiation tests. You, Kurama, Hiei, and Kuwabara probably would not have *too* much trouble, but Kenshin, and especially Sanosuke, might end up with a pretty raw deal. The Yoko you guys would be dealing with is a lot nastier then the one that shares Kurama's body. I don't think there was any mention of him having any real gripes about humans in my records, but I'm pretty sure that they would have to go through the exact same tests that you four would. And I would be a lot more surprised if they didn't get cheated on and tricked then if they did. They would have to go in very hard and very fast."  
Hearing this, Sano knew that now was a good time to say something. "Hey kiddo, If they want fast, Kenshin's about as fast as they come. And as for hard, well, they don't come much harder than me, baby. No offense." (A/N I must. . . resist temptation. . . for. . . tasteless joke)  
"None taken."  
"Oh. Yeah. Sano can be *really* hard. And he's got this really looooong. . .sword. (A/N GAH! CURSE MY INFANTILE SENSE OF HUMOR!!!!! AAHH!!!!) Kaoru said, pointing at Sano's old zanbatoh that he had used against Kenshin in their first fight.  
"Hehhh. . . alright. You'll get your portal. But only you six, and Botan as a guide, can go. I want the rest of you over here, just because our villain said he wouldn't try anything hardly means he won't. I suggest you say your good-byes while you have a chance. It will be a while since you all see each other again." Ordered the Great Diapered One as a large, blue portal opened up out of thin air.  
"Good-bye" they all said before they each jumped into the portal.  
  
********************  
  
"Ohhhhh, Tesaki, you wonderful apparition! How did I ever live without a professional masseuse?"  
  
Okay, now mister Voice in the Dark is getting just plain silly. All the good masseuses are from the planet Dlgjdiutrjkf 6, anybody whose anybody knows that! Anyway, next time we'll probably get to see the biggest bad-ass demon of them all: Yoko Kurama. Though you should know that I've only seen episodes of YuYu Hakusho to right before the finals of the dark tournament, so if there are any bigger bad-asses, then blame cartoon network for not having all four seasons (or sagas, or whatever the hell), and therefore not telling me earlier. 


	18. Foxy Demon

Come up with your own damn snappy intro this time! Do have to do everything for you people?! Just put on a wrestling theme song CD and ride the groove. . . On with the story!  
  
Chapter 17: Foxy Demon! (please don't hurt me)  
  
Immediately after Yusuke and the other five "warriors" ambled through the mystically space-time portal thingy, they soon realized the mistake of walking through it AT THE SAME TIME.  
"Kuwabara, get your hand off my ass, and Hiei, why is *your* ass on *my* face?"  
"Hey, Yusuke, you been working out?"  
"No, Kuwabara, I've always had a nice butt, now move yer frickin' hand!"  
"I already have! Somebody else is coppin a feel!"  
"Oh. Sorry Yusuke. My apologies."  
"While we're on the subject, Kurama, your *other* hand is getting far too comfortable where it is as well. Normally I would consider you a friend, but this is going too far. As for my ass, Yusuke, maybe you should move you head instead; I happen to wedged between Kuwabara and a dead animal, and the smell is killing me."  
"Yeah well, what did you expect? it is Kuwabara after all."  
"Hey!"  
"Good point."  
"HEY! That is so not funny Triclops!"  
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT CALLING ME THAT BEFORE!? YOU SORELY PRESS THE PATIENCE OF THE JAGAN YOU FOOL!"  
"Triclops, Triclops, Triclops!"  
SMACK!  
"AHAH!"  
POW!  
"OWWWW!!"  
BAM!  
"sorry." Said a now toothless and bruised Kuwabara, replete with softball sized lumps on his head. He made funny a chuckling sound as he collapsed onto the ground, face first and unconscious.  
"Hmmm. . . You are all very careless to cross this road without a proper guard. But I must profess a certain curiosity as to why you have humans in you party. Two of them could, I suppose, take care of themselves. But the other two? They have no power to speak of, and that they are traveling with two demons is quite abnormal." Said a cold voice, apparently coming from nowhere. Kurama and his friends instantly knew what was happening, but Kenshin and Sanosuke had no clue what was going on. Suddenly, arrows and shurikens were flying everywhere, but the wasteland that the group had landed in offered no visible cover from which the projectiles were coming from; they knew that their attackers must be using magic to conceal themselves. They would have been more worried, but the weapons were normal and they had no problems just knocking them out of the way.  
"Stop! At least for now. They are here for a reason, and they have no valuables on them. Besides, they were blocking or dodging everything anyway. Keep them targeted, but I think I want to speak to them for a moment." Said the same voice, and with a subtle shivering of the air, a tall figure appeared. Dressed in white robes, with long white hair, the character had a certain vulpine aura around him, as though one could almost see the fox he most certainly had been still working in his mind and soul. Even though Yusuke had only seen him once, back at the dark tournament (A/N I'm still going by the timeline I've seen on cartoon network, so don't flame me if Yoko actually becomes a common character later on), he knew instantly that this Yoko was far more powerful then the one he had seen there.  
  
**********************  
  
"Zzzzzzzzzz. . . Zzzzzzzzzzzz. . . N-no mommy, don't kill daddy. . . what? Mommy just playing with daddy? Okay. Can I have a glass of blood?"  
  
^ ^  
  
OO  
  
/  
  
()  
  
Ooooookaaaaaay. . . wiggy. Anyway, stick around for more demony goodness next time! 


	19. Old Age Outlaws

Ahhhh. . . Sweet, sweet pumpernickel. Is there truly a better sort of bread? On with the story!  
  
Chapter 18: Old Age Outlaws (Hmmmm. . . possibly. . . sourdough! Yeah. Sourdough.)  
  
"Now of course, you are all still fools for not coming here properly prepared. But why come here at all? Wait. . . let me guess. Yes. You've been challenged by an astronomically powerful demon the likes of which you have never seen and have absolutely no chance whatsoever of defeating, and. . . you've come here in the naïve belief that by joining my group of bandits you would become strong enough to defeat him. Is that everything?" Yoko said examining the heroes closely.  
"Not quite. We also want to learn the origin of mayonnaise." Replied Yusuke. Everyone did an anime fall. "What? I've always wondered where mayonnaise came from? I think it's a perfectly reasonable request, what's everybody so surprised about?" (A/N Actually, I've always wondered that myself.)  
Shocked by her "boss's" stupidity, Botan really couldn't hold in her exasperation much longer. "WE DID NOT COME HERE TO ASK ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL DEMONS IN THE WORLD ABOUT SANDWICH CONDIMENTS, Yusuke! No matter how bizarre they may be. But yes, sir, the part about the evil demon is exactly what our problem is."  
"Enhh, we might be able to do something about the training, but the mayonnaise is outside my specialty. We have suffered a few casualties over the years, so I suppose if you manage to pass the tests, we might have some sort of an agreement. If you can pass the tests."  
Hearing all of this talk about tests made Kuwabara (and to a slightly lesser extent, Yusuke) rather nervous. "Uhh, what do you mean, tests? Like multiple choice? Or are we gonna have to read somethin' and then answer questions? Maybe, like essay questions, or just long answer? It's been a while since any of us have studied anything, you know?"  
*Idiot.* Thought everyone present, as they just stared at Kuwabara, which made him, understandably, uncomfortable.  
"NOT THAT KIND OF TEST!" Yelled Botan.  
"Right. By test, he means the sort where you either pass, and join us, or fail, and die a particularly nasty death. Then again, considering who most of us are, and what we do for a living, that may be your fate either way. But for our records, we should know your names, and I will know if you are lying." said a new voice, as another figure shimmered out of the air. This one was short and fat, and had the sort of aura that just made everyone know that this was the real leader of the gang, and that he would probably have been an IRS agent, or possibly a door-to-door insurance salesman, had he been human. In fact, the only reason they knew he wasn't human was because of the three ears he had that were almost as large he was. "Hmmm. . . yes. You already know Yoko, then again, who doesn't these days. You'll learn who I and the rest of our merry band of cutthroats, thieves, assassins, and confidence men are after you have passed my tests and joined our illustrious, if rather soiled, ranks. Now, your names, if you please?"  
"Kurama, also known as Shuichi Minamono."  
"Hiei."  
"Kenshin Himura."  
"Sanosuke Sagara."  
"Kuzuma Kuwabara, the strongest, meanest punk in Sarayashiki Jr. High."  
"Yusuke Urameshi, the much, much stronger, meaner punk in Sarayashiki Jr. High."  
"Botan, but I'm not really planning on joining. I'm just here to make sure they don't do anything more stupid then what they've already done; most of the boys do have girlfriends that can get reeeeally nasty."  
After the little clerk-demon finished writing down their names, he asked everyone a few more questions. "Very well then. Sir, you are absolutely certain that these six warriors, not including the girl, are to your satisfaction and have a reasonably fair chance of meeting our initiation requirements?"  
"Yes."  
"Alright. You six, are you absolutely certain that you want to attempt to join our bandit gang? By answering yes, you waive any responsibility to I, Yoko, or any other member of this gang should you suffer death or serious injury, at least if said death or injury is sustained during your examination."  
"Yes. I do." They all answered.  
"Very well than. Prepare yourself for your first test: The Journey to the Temple of the All Seeing Eye."  
"Baum, baum, baaauuuummm!" said the rest of Yoko's demon bandits as they, too, shimmered out of the air.  
  
*************************  
  
"Zzzzzzzzz. . . Zzzzzzzzzzz. . . Mr. Huggyfwingers, don't leave me! Mr. Huggyfwingers! Whaaa! Whaaa!"  
  
Uhhhhh. . . yeeeaaahh. Mister Voice in the Dark had one f***-up childhood, that's for sure. Anyway, stick around to see how bad this "Journey to the Temple of the All Seeing Eye" happens to be. Seriously. I know I sure will, and that's a fact. 


	20. Journey to the Temple of the All Seeing ...

I have discovered sad news, my friends/allies/strange people who were drugged and forced to read this fic against their will, sad news indeed. It appears that Cartoon Network will once again put YuYu Hakusho into repeats. I must profess my confusion and anger as to why they do not air THE LAST SIX EPISODES of *the second* season/whatever the hell they're called. I can only hope that this travesty of programming is soon resolved satisfactorily. On the bright side, there is always Tremors: The Series (Sci-Fi Channel) and the new Spider-Man series (MTV), both on Friday evenings, with repeats sprinkled throughout the weak. But I still wish they'd put Rurouni Kenshin back on Toonami, but oh well. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 19: Journey to the Temple of the All Seeing Eye (a Peeping Tom's dream, and a nubile young woman in a shower's nightmare)  
  
"You are all a bunch of freaks, you know that?"  
"Indeed I do, Yusuke. Sad. But true nonetheless."  
"Uhhhhhh. . . yeah. How do we get to this Temple of the All Peeing Fly, anyway?  
*Idiot.* Thought everyone again, still marveling at Kuwabara's stupidity.  
"IT'S TEMPLE OF THE ALL SEEING EYE! WERE YOU DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD AS A CHILD OR SOMETHING?!" Screamed Botan.  
"Heh, you don't know Shizuru. She'd not only drop me, she'd drop kick me. But if it weren't for her, I wouldn't be the most powerful human here!" Kuwabara exclaimed proudly, showing everyone that only the truly stupid are proud of their protective layering of ignorance that always surrounds and guards them against anything that might make them think about recent events.  
*Retard.* Thought everyone who knew what it meant, which, considering how most of the demons present had no formal education, was mainly thought by Yusuke and his group.  
The clerk-demon with the three ears sighed deeply, also knowing the meaning of the word 'retard' and merely pointed vaguely to the east. "You'll find the Temple somewhere over there, assuming you don't get completely lost. It's fairly large; it was designed to be seen from thousands of miles away."  
"Then why is it one of our tests?"  
"Because it *is* thousands of miles away." He answered, but before the shock could get full control of our heroes' faces, he also added: "And in this realm, time passes differently. I can assure you, you'll only be a few months older by the time you get to the Temple. At least *if* you get to the Temple. There is food and water on the way, but your second test will begin immediately after you get there. I suppose I should wish you good luck, but if your luck isn't good normally, than there is little I may do for you." And with that, all of the demons that had been surrounding them, including Yoko and the clerk, vanished.  
"Ya know? I really should learn that sometime. That always was one of the coolest tricks I've seen a demon do, but nobody ever taught me." Said Yusuke to himself. "Anyway, what say we get our rears in gear, eh? We've got several months work of walking to do."  
  
****************************  
  
Over the months of walking, our heroes didn't actually have too much trouble. Food and water was scarce, but there was enough for the group to subsist on; and probably for the same reasons, they didn't have too much trouble with demons and other bandits. What trouble they did have though, came from each other. Yusuke and Kuwabara didn't normally get on well with each other under normal circumstances, to say nothing of how Kuwabara and Hiei interacted, and being stuck together under such a relentless landscape as the desert they were trekking did little to ease their moods. And then they saw the Temple.  
"Hoooooollyyyy. . . shit. That thing is HUGE! But it actually does still look to be several thousand miles away, it's impossible! How can anything be that big?" exclaimed Yusuke, on first sight of the, as previously mentioned, large pyramid like structure, which actually did have what looked like a giant human eye at its apex, that was almost as large as the Temple on which it rotated gently. They did not notice the skeletons until it was almost too late.  
  
**********************  
  
"Yoko, they are at the Temple!"  
"Excellent. Now we may see how they fare against a true monster."  
  
Yeah, Yoko. Let's see how they fare against a true monster. Jeez! Why can't these obscenely powerful demon bandits ever try something realistic for an initiation test, like a spelling bee, or a bake-off? 


	21. It's All Fun and Games

Oh, woe is me! School shall capture me in its torturous embrace of doom and despair. . . TOMORROW! What shall I do? Then there is my new job at a local Quizno's; not to mention the fact that I shall have to actually *be* with people. *gasp* I can assure you: I have done literally nothing but sit on mine ass watching television and playing videogames during all summer. Barring that vacation to my grandparents farm and several Yugioh tournaments, but that's beside the point. In case you were wondering there actually is a point to my complaints: I might not be able to do daily updates anymore, at least not regularly, and I understand that is why many of you enjoy my stories so. But I can assure you that every chance I have at updating will be taken most quickly. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 20: It's all Fun and Games (until someone loses an eye; then it's just fun)  
  
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"YOU DARE TO DEFILE THE TEMPLE OF THE ALL SEEING EYE?!!!"  
"Uhmmm. . . yeah."  
"Kinda."  
"Pretty much."  
"OH. . . OKAY THEN. CARRY ON." Said the booming voice, who, just like with Yoko and his band, no one could see. After saying this last line, you can probably imagine the time it took for everyone to get back up after their fall, but when they did the voice actually seemed to have changed its mind. "WAIT A MINUTE. . . YOU CAN'T DO THAT! THERE WON'T BE ANY DEFILING WHILE I'M ON WATCH, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? NOW WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO YOU LITTLE HOVELS LIKE GOOD LITTLE DEMONS AND PLAY NICE? THIS IS NO PLACE FOR CHILDREN, YA KNOW?"  
"Hey, we aren't children! I'll have you know that I'm sixteen, Kuwabara too!"  
"HAHAHAHAHA! SIXTEEN?! SIXTEEN *YEARS!?* YOU REALLY ARE CHILDREN! I HAVE BEEN WATCHING THIS TEMPLE SINCE I WAS 2,347,089,048,080,807,194,798,745,081,477,457 MILLENIA OLD, AND EVEN THEN I WAS CONSIDERED WET BEHIND THE EARS. HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"Really? Well then where the hell are you any way? I doubt anything as loud or annoying as you could hide too well."  
"WELL, I THOUGHT SOMEONE AS *SMART* AND *COOL* AS YOU CERTAINLY ARE WOULD KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME. BUT IF YOU MUST KNOW, THEN JUST LOOK. . . UP."  
Following the voices instructions, our heroes craned their necks as high as possible, and when they finally could look no further up, they saw it: the Eye.  
"HAHAHA! PEEKABOO! I SEE YOU!" the previous fall was nothing compared to this one; the group actually left a small crater when they collided with the ground.  
"Ay, ay, cap'n!" noticing the glares he was receiving, Sanosuke mutter sheepishly:  
"Well *I* thought it was funny. Get it? *Eye* thought it was funny!"  
"I'll shut up now." He said in disgrace, his hopes of actually making a funny joke dashed to pieces by a cruel and uncaring world.  
"GOOD. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW *EYE* RESMBLE THAT REMARK. GET IT? YOU PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND GOOD COMMEDY, BUT EITHER WAY: I'M THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO MAKE EYE JOKES AROUND HERE, GOT IT? NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING, JUST WHAT IS A GROUP OF YOUNG WHIPPER-SNAPPERS LIKE YOU DOING AT ONE OF THE DIMENSIONAL FOCAL POINTS OF THE UNIVERSE? WELL. . . ?"  
"Uhhhh. . . we're here to pass our first initiation test so that we can join Yoko Kurama's band of thieves; he said that we would get our second test when we got here. Hey! You wouldn't happen to know what our second test is, would ya? Answered Kuwabara.  
"OH DANG. JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I HAD MADE SOME FRIENDS, TOO. YEAH. I KNOW WHAT THE SECOND TEST IS. I'M GONNA HAVE TO KILL YA. ER. . . I MEAN *TRY* TO KILL YOU. YOU GUYS WILL HAVE TO AVOID GETTING KILLED UNTIL YOKO GETS HERE AND STOPS ME, BUT I SUPPOSE IF YOU GUYS COULD STOP ME, THAT MIGHT WORK TOO. I THINK. HONESTLY, IT'S NEVER ACTUALLY COME UP, BUT, OH WELL. GOOD-BYE."  
That being said, the giant eye started rolling after our heroes.  
  
**********************  
  
"Yoko, sir! You wanted me to report when the candidates started the second test, right? Well, the Asjpuajjaaughigalhk has just started the attack."  
"Excellent."  
  
Don't you just hate bad puns? Eye know I sure do. Check out the next chapter: it'll be a battle of ocular proportions! 


	22. Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

Ya know, after seeing "Freddy vs. Jason" I am going to have to see all of the Freddy Krueger movies, and do a short crossover with him and Yugioh, unless they do something similar in the manga before then. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 21: Rolling, Rolling, Rolling (GAHHHH! MUST GET DEMON SONG OUT OF HEAD!)  
  
"DON'T RUN! DON'T RUN! YOU'LL ONLY DIE FLAT AND TIRED, INSTEAD OF JUST FLAT! YA KNOW, THIS REMINDS ME OF A MOVIE. . . WHAT WAS IT CALLED NOW?" wondered the giant eye as it rolled after our heroes around the pyramid.  
"Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, wasn't it!?"  
"Yeah, I think!"  
"NO, THAT WASN'T IT. EYE DON'T THINK EYE SAW THAT ONE."  
"Well aren't you supposed to be the 'All Seeing Eye' ?"  
"OH, EYE'M FLATTERED, BUT NO. I'M JUST THE GUARDIAN. THE EYE YOU'RE THINKING OF IS IN THE TEMPLE."  
"Really? Well ain't that just peachy? All right everyone! Prepare to see one of the stupidest things you ever will!" screamed Yusuke as he jumped thirty feet in the air. "AHHHH-SHOTGUN-DOUBLE!!" he yelled, firing two successive blasts and combining their power, peppering the desert floor.  
"DUDE! YOU COMPLETELY MISSED ME! IF THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE, YOU MAY AS WELL JUST LIE DOWN AND LET ME FLATTEN YA!"  
Suddenly figuring out Yusuke's plan, Kenshin yelled out to everyone, telling them to stop. Nodding his head at Kenshin, Yusuke started chuckling with just the right mix of glee and malevolence that the eye paused momentarily stopped in its tracks. "Hahaha! I wasn't aiming at you, Eye- Freak! I was aiming. . . at the sand." He said, just as the manmade sandstorm whipped up around everyone, and the eye started screaming in pain as the sand tore at it. "Kenshin, do that little trick a'yers that blows all those rocks and stuff!" He yelled.  
"Right. Hiten-Mitsurugi-Style: Dou Ryu Sen!"  
"AH! AH! OH ME! OH ME! STOP THE PAIN! I GIVE! I GIVE ALREADY! UNCLE, UNCLE EYE SAY!"  
"Is that really all you've got?" asked an incredulous Sanosuke as the sand started to settle down, and to a slightly lesser extant, bury everyone.  
"JUST JOKING! YOU DIDN'T REALLY EXPECT THAT TO WORK, DID YOU? EYE MEAN, PEOPLE HAVE BEEN PULLING THAT SAME DAMN TRICK EVERYTIME THEY COME HERE. EYE LEARNED HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT CHEAP SHOT WHEN EYE STARTED GUARDING HERE, AND SO DID ALL OF MY PREDECESSORS. YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THEN THAT TO KEEP A GOOD EYE DOWN!" it yelled, as it started rolling after our heroes again.  
"Nice try, Yusuke! Now how about something that works!" Complained Botan.  
"What do I look like, an optometrist? I don't know how ta deal with something like this! My only ideas involve kickin' the crap out of stuff!"  
"Well then get some new ones!"  
"Hah! Don't bother, Urameshi! I got one now! SPIRIT-SWORD-DOUBLE!" yelled Kuwabara, forming two golden swords made of his own energy. "Hah! Alright you big eye sore, let's see how well you jump. SPIRIRT SWORDS, BEND!" he yelled, and the two swords quickly wrapped themselves around the eye, constricting its movement.  
"EYE'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT EYE AM QUITE THE ACCOMPLISHED JUMPER, THANK YOU." Admonished the eye as it hopped into the air.  
"Aww, damn it. SPIRIT-SWORDS, GET LONGER!" yelled Kuwabara, making the swords lengthen quickly and having them wrap completely around the eye so that it could not move, and considering how all of that happened while the eye was still in the air, Kuwabara had the presence of mind to turn the eye's initial jump to a full on slam into the ground.  
"CRAP."  
"Bravo, my friends. Bravo, indeed. As is custom, Kuwabara, as the one who stopped the guardian, you have passed and may join us without any further testing. The rest of you must still continue on without him. Go into the Temple. You will recive your third test there." Said the voice of Yoko, and suddenly, Kuwabara disappeared into thin air.  
  
**************************  
  
"WAAAHHH-A-AH! What the hell? Where am I?"  
"Here Kuwabara. Tell me, how do you like your cookies? Crunchy? Chewy? Soft? Burnt? How do you feel about eyes in your cookies?"  
"Don't ever talk to me about eyes again. But I think I'll take the crunchy kind, thank you."  
  
Well, that was fun. Let's just hope those cookies Kuwabara is enjoying aren't made out of human bone meal or something, but I just know that they are. Poor, poor Kuwabara. 


	23. RUN?

HEEEEEEEERRRRREEEEEEEE'S JOHNY!!!!! I just thought I'd screw around with ya a bit. Also, to add even more aggravation, I have finally gotten a copy of Diablo 2 and its expansion, so now it is even harder for me to update. By the way, if you have any good items, I got a low level assassin named Ryderia, though with any luck she'll get stronger as time goes on, so if you happen to be in the "U.S. West region, come down and see me some time. Please? Interesting side note: did you know that "assassin" is the only word in the English language to have the word "ass" in it twice? On with the story!  
  
Chapter 22: R-U-N? (damn. . . I'm out of witty comments. And I think I just saw a pig fly by my window too. And go you smell brimstone? I know I am.)  
  
"Where the hell did they take him?! That idiot actually turned out useful for once and they snatch him away!" screamed Yusuke, after he realized what had just happened.  
"Don't worry Yusuke. Kuwabara is quite alive. They just did this to make things harder for the rest of us. And you can bet that they will probably keep doing this until we've ALL passed. Or died, whichever."  
"OH YEAH BOTAN?! AND HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU NOW THAT? FOR ALL WE KNOW, KUWABARA COULD BE FIGHTING FOR HIS FRICKIN' LIFE RIGHT NOW!"  
"Hellooo, Grim Reaper? If anybody would know, I'm pretty sure it would be me, don't you think?"  
"Grrr. . . fine. Well then what the hell do we do now?" As Yusuke said this, the wall of the pyramid behind him started opening. He was still ranting and raving right up until everyone just stopped paying attention to him to look at what was happening.  
"If you really need a hint, would this do?" asked Hiei.  
"Uhhhhh. . . I guess, yeah."  
  
**************************  
  
"So like, what happens now, Mr. Creepy Shadow Voice?"  
"Oh, nothing much Kuwabara. Just drink your blo-. . . juice, and eat your cookies while we wait for your friends. Though, actually, would you like to see what is happening to them now? I could put it on the crystal easily enough."  
"Could ya? That would be cool." Said Kuwabara as he continued to drink his B-positive beverage (even though he thought it was just really thick cranberry juice).  
  
**************************  
  
"YOU HAVE DEFEATED THE GAURDIAN. COME WITHIN TO MEET YOUR FATE. Please keep all, hands, feet, tentacles, heads, small children, and annoying people inside the temple at all times. If there is an emergency, put your heads between your legs, and kiss you butt goodbye. Thank you for choosing the Temple of the All Seeing Eye as your proving grounds of worth. Have a good day." The last bit was spoken as though by an airline stewardess going through the safety precautions of a plane trip. Needless to say, everyone fell.  
"Well aren't they chipper? And here I was thinking that everybody around here was a complete asshole, we turn around and suddenly, surprise, surprise, IT'S ANOTHER ASSHOLE! AND IT'S A RECORDING FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!"  
  
"Sano, calm down. Trust me, after awhile, you won't even notice that all the demons you meet are complete and utter jerks. Besides, that's why ya have ta be able to kick their ass. Anyway, let's kick some demon butt." Ordered Yusuke, as everyone started walking towards the entryway.  
  
********************************  
  
"Hey, do you have anything other than juice and cookies? They're good and all, but I'm kinda wantin'n somethin' a little more filling. Get some protein in my diet, ya know?"  
"Ask and ye shall receive Kuwabara, ask and ye shall receive."  
"Hey, awesome! It's like a Golden Corral in here! They even have the guy at the roast beef counter! Wait. . . is that an eye looking at me in that roast beef?"  
"I can quite assure you, Kuwabara, that that is not an eye, nor is it roast beef."  
"I think I'll pass for now."  
"Good choice."  
  
Probably not what you were hoping for in this update, but his was really just to keep up appearances. But I can assure you that the next chapter will have a fight. And probably a good one, too. 


	24. Those Darn Temple Guardians

Hail, lesser mortals! 'Tis I, your update monkey. . . OF DOOM! BWAHAH- BWAHAHA! Laugh wiiiith meeeeeeeeee! Anyway, as I mentioned in my other fic, updating will be significantly slower then it used to be, at least for the time being (what with school, homework, normal work *grumble*frickinminimumwage*grumble*, and just being lazy), though I have been doing some reading and have added a few new stories to my favorites list for you to check out while I'm busy *cough*asifyouhadnotnoticed*cough*. But on a lighter note I did get to bug AnT about his grammar and spelling, so with any luck he may decide to flame something of mine in his (probably) righteous fury. I'm sure if I bug enough people, somebody relatively famous will review me : ) On with the story!  
  
Chapter 23: Those Darn Temple Guardians (especially those giant statues with the huge swords and whatnot, man I hate those things)  
  
As our motley crew of demons, street punks, and Meiji era revolutionaries explored the gloomy temple that had (literally) invited them in, Kurama, always the historian, was trying to decipher the carvings and symbols on the walls. "Hmmmm. Interesting."  
"What?"  
"These carvings, they're gibberish, as though a three-year-old had seen Japanese kanji, Egyptian hieroglyphs, and Nordic runes, and decided to scribble them all around this temple because they looked pretty."  
"I guess I can understand Kanji, considering that everyone here is Japanese, but since when, Kurama, do you know how to read hieroglyphs and runes?" Yusuke inquired.  
"I admit, it did take awhile, but kami's and oni's only have so much treasure. After a few centuries I decided to expand my abilities to also robbing Egyptian Pyramids and Nordic cairns, as well as ka's, dwarves, and giants. I also know English, French, German, and Spanish, as well as Gaelic, Greek, Latin, most dialects of Chinese, and have passable knowledge of most of the "dead" languages of North and South America."  
  
"Let me guess, the more languages you speak, the more people you can con, cajole, and flat out rob?"  
  
"Exactly, Yusuke. Getting back to my point, there is one other curious thing here. . . "  
  
"What?" asked everyone as they turned around so they could here Kurama better.  
  
"That!" screamed Kurama as one of those vaguely Egyptian looking statues with dog heads and loincloths swung a sword the size of a semi-truck at our heroes.  
  
"Damn it! I hate these things! all they ever are in the movies are just cannon fodder for the good guys, whatever happened to originality?" asked Yusuke, blasting the head off of another statue with the head of a hawk.  
"I don't know, but guess if it ain't broke, don't fix it! Besides it's not like these things are tough, they're just frickin' big." Sanosuke replied as he crumbled another statues leg in one hit.  
"Don't hate me any more than you already do for saying this, but the bigger they are, the harder they FALL!" Hiei yelled as the statue he was fighting split in half from his attack. "What?" he asked as everyone just stared at him with sweat drops at the back of their head. "I've always wanted to say that, is that so wrong?"  
"Oh alright." everyone answered.  
  
As the heroes continue to fight (and summarily kick statue butt), watch as the camera pans around the hall in which they are fighting. Notice the carvings of monsters, and demons, and angels. Especially of three specific carvings, one of a great winged serpent with two mouths on its head. Another, that looked like some great, scaled bird with a lion's tail. And a third, that appeared to be some great behemoth of an infernal demon, with wings and large muscled arms and legs with sharp talons at the end. Notice, how they twinkle with some unearthly glow, brighter and brighter as each statue is obliterated? Notice the carving of an upside down Pyramid with an eye symbol in the center that glowed the brightest of them all?  
  
****************************  
  
"Oh yeah, everybody! Come on! Yusuke! Watch out for that sword! Kenshin! Duck! Hiei! Behind you!"  
"Having fun, Kuwabara?"  
"You bet I am!"  
  
BAUM-BAUM-BAAAAAUUUUUMMMMM! I don't know about you, but this smells like we might have something. . . interesting. . . on our hands. Don't you think? I bet you do, eh? Eh? 


	25. Gods

Ahhh, the teacher-in-service day, greatest of the unofficial school holidays. Actually. . . isn't it the only unofficial school holiday? What ever. Just be happy that I am back so that you may bask in godly glory and worship me as I so richly deserve. And while you're at it, send up a couple of those temple virgins up here as well. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 24: Gods (can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. What's an atheist to do?)  
  
CRAAA-AACK!  
  
CRU-WHOOSH!  
  
"AHH!"  
  
"What happened, Kenshin?! Are you okay?"  
  
"Stretched groin. I'll be fine Yusuke."  
  
"If you say so. . . DUCK!"  
  
"Where? I'm hungry!"  
  
"Not the bird, you idiot! Kenshin nearly got flattened!"  
  
"Oh. Dang." groaned Sanosuke, his stomach rumbling pitiably. "It's alright, big fella, shouldn't be long now." He said, in an oddly touching effort to be consoling to a major organ. He punched the 20-foot tall statue moronically trying to sneak up behind him, crumbling it to pieces, while Kenshin, his nether-regions back in working order, jumped from statue to statue and leaving little more than rubble in his wake.  
  
"Where do these things keep coming from? Their obviously not meant to actually hurt us, or if they were, than whoever designed them was fool."  
  
"Hmm, remember Maze-Castle Hiei? The cultivated Humans? These statues are mere obstacles to slow us down. My guess is that if we can keep moving, we might eventually find a safe spot. Or we could end up finding something significantly more dangerous. But the fact remains that they have effectively kept us from actually proceeding any further into the temple by sheer dint of their numbers and size."  
  
"Any suggestions than, Kurama?"  
  
"Yes. And I'm sure it is one that you will enjoy, Yusuke."  
  
"What?"  
  
"MOW THEM TO THE GROUND AND JUST KEEP GOING FORWARD! ROSE-WHIP: THORN WHEEL!"  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
And so our heroes pressed their attack, fighting like a herd of rabid capybaras, they tore into statues one after another using their strongest attacks. The statues kept coming, for like the legendary hydra, every statue destroyed would only leave another two to take its place. But they kept fighting. And fighting, and fighting. And they fought some more. But they were proceeding, and they were succeeding. It was a tiresome fight, especially for Kenshin who somehow managed to get a stretched groin for every fifth statue he destroyed, but even he took such indignities in stride.  
  
"You know Kenshin, I bet that if you would just stretch properly before a big fight, I'm sure you wouldn't get your privates so mangled."  
  
"I'll take that into consideration, Kurama. That I will."  
  
"All right, enough with the personal care advice, people! What are we gonna do now? It doesn't look like there are any more a' those fickin' statues left." With those words, a "hidden" passageway opened behind Yusuke, who again failed to notice while he continued to rant and rave about what to do next.  
  
"VERY WELL MORTALS. YOU HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR AND HAVE SAID THE PASS PHRASE. GO IN, AND MEET YOUR DESTINY."  
  
"Ya know, I think they forgot they the vaguely threatening laugh." noticed Yusuke.  
  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"Okay, maybe not."  
  
Being the ever-intrepid heroes they all were, our heroes descended into the dark passageway.  
  
"We really ought to stop being intrepid heroes, don't we?" Yusuke asked.  
  
"Agreed." answered the group.  
  
"For once." Hiei added.  
  
"Can it, triclops."  
  
"Silence, you carbon-copy of Kuwabara!"  
  
"Children! Children! Settle down now. Hiei, that was completely uncalled for, telling someone that they're like Kuwabara. There is absolutely no need for that kind insult. And you, Sano, stop picking on Hiei. That's my job."  
  
"Sorry, muhther." they sarcastically apologized.  
  
As they continued going down the stairs, our heroes soon noticed an odd glow radiating from the walls themselves, giving everything a surreal quality, as though everything became both more real and less substantial. Including each other. Hiei soon changed into his other form, all green and covered with eyes, while Kurama's hair started to lighten, and his face began to become more vulpine in appearance. Neither of them had willingly caused the change, and nor could they seem to stop it or change back.  
  
Kenshin, on the other hand, soon appeared to be drenched in blood, though when he tried to wipe it off it immediately reappeared. He didn't seem to be suffering any of the symptoms that such massive blood loss would cause, and he knew that none of the statues had harmed him, so he convinced everyone that it must be an effect of the temple.  
  
Sanosuke too was covered in blood, but nowhere near as much as Kenshin. His clothes also became much more worn and tattered with every step he took, and soon, he was carrying his old zanbattou again.  
  
Yusuke, on the other hand, was left relatively unchanged, save for the fact that now everyone could see his aura, a bright sky blue coil, undulating and writhing around him, and soon the very floor he was walking on began to crunch under his feet. Needless to say, this left quite a few wide eyes among his friends. Soon enough, they came to another door.  
  
"Well, I guess this means we're taking door number 1, eh?"  
  
"That joke was derivative and insipid, Yusuke."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, multiclops. I'm still opening it, unless someone has a better idea?" Yusuke opened the door.  
  
"MORTALS WHO HAVE CHALLENGED THE GODS, PREPARE THYSELF. YOU HAVE BEEN AIDED BY YOUR STRENGTH TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE. HOPE THAT IT IS ENOUGH."  
  
That being said, the Gods attacked.  
  
**********************  
  
The Three watched. The Three waited. The Three knew it would not be long now. The Three's plans were almost to fruition. The Three's freedom and vengeance rode on this battle just as much as the lives of the mortals who fought it. One of them passed around some popcorn. The others ate some.  
  
Whoo-ee! This must be one of my longest chapters ever. Barely took an hour though. But maybe this will convince you to read my other story. 


	26. TTTTTTTime ttttttto DDDDDDDuel

Lo and hail, mortals! I, your king (get it?) has returned at last! Now I realize that it will be about two weeks since I updated this story, and for that, I apologize. But, let us see how YOU would do when you're assigned not one, not two, not even four, but THREE projects/essays in one week. Needless to say, I have been scrambling my butt off the last few days. Toss in the wedding I had to go to Friday, and you only get one very exhausted author. Add a dash of writer's block and you get an author that is both exhausted and aggravated. Are you sensing a trend here? But now, I am groovin' to Weird Al's latest album and feel rested and prepared. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 25: T-T-T-T-T-T-Time t-t-t-t-t-t-to D-D-D-D-D-D-Duel (good gods, that phrase is annoying, though probably more apt for my other story)  
  
"YUSUKE URAMESHI! THOU ART MINE."  
  
Yusuke gazed upon his challenger, taking in the image of an immense mummy, with green skin. Though he could not understand why, he knew that his opponent was the god Osiris. "Shit." is all that he said.  
  
"HIEI! UNSHEAF THINE BLADE."  
  
Hiei was no less pleased. His challenger was a giant with a crocodilian head, with scales and claws, and, most noticeably, teeth, to match. The name "Sobek" came to his mind. "Hn. So be it."  
  
"SANOSUKE SAGARA! YOU ARE CHALLENGED."  
  
Sanosuke faced an emaciated man, somehow both infinitesimally smaller and infinitely larger than himself at the same time. Like the others, he too had an animal head; that of some sort of bird, with a long, thin beak viciously curved and with white feathers. Thoth, he knew. "Crap."  
  
"KURAMA! FACE ME."  
  
This voice belonged to the figure of beautiful woman, with well defined muscles. The only thing that marred her beauty was that she had the head of a lioness. Bast, came the voiceless word, unsaid, unheard, only known. "Very well."  
  
"KENSHIN HIMURA! FIGHT FOR YOURN LIFE, AND THOSE OF YOUR FRIENDS."  
  
The last of the combatants was another giant, excellently muscled, but with the head of some sort of black dog, with colorless voids for eyes and fangs of purest, and sharpest, ivory. Anubis. "If you are so intent on fighting us, then so be it. I think it is safe to say that we accept your challenge."  
  
Words were not said during this battle after that. The gods assaulted immediately, with no sign of weakness. Osiris fought like the very twin of Yusuke, every punch, kick, head butt, and other, less orthodox attacks, was either countered, dodged, or blocked. Yusuke would have complained, but every time he might have tried, Osiris was right there, swift and large as the death that he held sway over. He was lord of the dead, Yusuke knew. As the fight continued, knowledge just started to pour into his head. How Osiris was the husband and brother of Isis. How he had been killed by Set, god of chaos and aardvarks (which he actually is), and had been spread to the earth after he had been cut to pieces. How his wife searched all the earth for the pieces, but could not find his. . . thingy (you know what I mean). How his wife had replaced it with a fake so that he could be whole and be revived. How he did not want to be here, doing this.  
  
Kenshin, meanwhile, was having the exact same problems, and experiences. He learned how Anubis had been worshipped before even Osiris, his king. How he was the god of the preservation of the dead, and one of their judges, along with Osiris and Thoth. How it was he who had mummified his lord, Osiris with the linens that Isis had given him for the task. How he was the Opener of the Way to the North. How he wanted to be back to his duty, back in the darkness where he belonged.  
  
During his fight, Kurama learned even more about the goddess known as Bast. How she was a wild goddess, her gifts extraordinary, her wrath, unavoidable. How her strength and cunning had resulted in her receiving the duty of guarding the Eye of Ra. How she wanted to go back to her fields of battle, and be back with her children, her cats.  
  
As Hiei traded slash with bite between himself and his reptilian opponent Sobek, he, too, began to learn his history. How Sobek was the guardian of the gods and the Pharaoh. How he gave his strength to the Pharaoh in times of need. How he was one of the most revered gods in all Egypt, for all knew that his realm was the Nile itself, and with his anger would come floods, with his sorrow, drought, and with his joy, happiness for all, for then the Nile would be calm and peaceful, and the crops excellent. How he held the powers of the four elements and was the source of the elemental powers of the other gods. How he wanted to go back to his rivers and valleys, and be among his children, his crocodiles, and be there to protect his lords and ladies from all who would threaten them. Whether he could help them or not.  
  
Sano learned more than he wanted to know about Thoth, not least of which was that he was both as fast as lightning and had a penchant for blasting him with spells. He learned how Thoth was one of the gods with the most varied powers and spheres of influence of them all. How Thoth was a god of the moon, of magic, of medicine, and of music. A god of astronomy, and shapes, and art and writing. How his mastery of architecture had lead to his being the architect of the universe and maker of its blueprint. How it was he who taught men the ways of peace and religion. How he broke Ra's curse with his skills at games and allowed Nut to birth her five children. How he had aided Horus in his battle with Set, protecting him with magic and sage advice. How he had written the Book of the Dead. How he wanted to be back at his library, with his wife, and study more the secrets of the universe he had helped to create. Sano couldn't help but consider the irony that he would get stuck with the nerd of the gods.  
  
**********************  
  
The Three watched, as they always did, with interest. They knew that it would not be long now. All they needed was patience. And that was all that they had. The Three continued to eat the popcorn.  
  
Well, well, well. Yet another chapter done and finished. I think for the next few chapters I'll be focusing on one character and his fight, starting, of course, with Yusuke. By the way, I'm kinda hoping for a little more than three short reviews like I got for my last chapter here, so even if you have to flame me, tell me how I'm doing here, and don't forget to check out my other story! 


	27. Egyptian God Fights Japanes Street Punk

Well hello there fellow ficcers! I'm actually kinda back on schedule here. Now I am MUCHO happier with the seven reviews for the last chapter of this story than I am for the ONE (grrrr. . .) review for my other story. Any way, that's neither here nor there, so moving on. . . On with the story!  
  
Chapter 26: Egyptian God Fights Japanese Street Punk (what will the neighbors say?)  
  
Yusuke was in a bit of a conundrum. Osiris was proving to be significantly harder than he thought any ancient mummy god had any right to be, and he was getting quite ticked off. It wasn't that Osiris was BETTER than Yusuke, if anything they were virtually equal in every way. Strength, speed, intelligence, guts, no matter what, Osiris was there to counter any move Yusuke tried. And what was even more annoying was that if he even tried to talk or gain his breath, Osiris was suddenly right in front of him, hammer fisting Yusuke in the head. As near as he could tell, the others were having the same exact problem.  
  
Bast was still slashing and swiping at Kurama with her claws, and had even pulled out some sort of club thing as a weapon, and Kurama was doing everything he could just to dodge the rampaging goddess. He had managed to get his Rose Whip out though, and he seemed to be pulling some seeds out right when Osiris knocked Yusuke's legs out from under him.  
  
Yusuke managed to roll out of the way of Osiris's following elbow drop, and even managed to clip the mummy's head with a well placed kick, but they were both immediately up, and that kick didn't seem to have any effect on Yusuke's opponent.  
  
Just then Yusuke caught a glimpse of Hiei's fight with Sobek. The crocodile god was biting and slashing at the little demon, and occasionally managed to sweep it's tail into Hiei's chest or legs, and as speedy as the Hiei was, he still wasn't able to dodge all of Sobek's attacks. He seemed to be having the hardest of things, since so many of his attacks needed time to power up, and he just wasn't quite able to get the power necessary without focusing, which Sobek wisely prevented at every opportunity. Osiris managed to get a right hook into Yusuke's face, and Yusuke replied with an uppercut to the god's chin. This seemed to do a little damage though, and Yusuke was quick to use his time to charge up a Shotgun blast, and luckily, this too hit.  
  
The problem was that Osiris recovered soon afterward and managed to get another blow to Yusuke's stomache. As he was sent flying, Yusuke saw a bit of Sano's battle with Thoth. Thoth definitely seemed to have the advantage, because every time Sano was about to land a punch on the bird-headed god, his opponent suddenly wasn't there anymore. Instead he was right behind Sano, and was powering up another spell, but Sano managed to duck and kick out behind him, catching Thoth off guard and off his feet.  
  
After Yusuke managed to get back up, Osiris was there again, and when he was just about to kick Yusuke in the stomach, Yusuke jumped up and did a flip kick right into the god's face. Sadly though, the god caught Yusuke by the foot before he landed and slammed him into the wall. Just as he was about to punch Yusuke again though, he found himself with a face full of Spirit Gun, and was knocked off of HIS feet for a change. As Osiris was getting back up, Yusuke caught sight of Kenshin's fight with Anubis, who had pulled out a rod and was using it to block all of the attacks that Kenshin made. Since it was already blunt though, the sakabatou didn't get quite as damaged as was expected, and though Kenshin was most used to using his sword in a fight, he wasn't above using the occasional punch or kick if that was what was needed. In fact, he had just finished back flipping off of his opponent's head when Osiris had gotten back up and took another swing at Yusuke.  
  
Yuske rolled under the blow, and managed to do another sweep kick, which Osiris jumped over just in time. Yusuke was prepare with another punch to the face, but just as he connected, so did Osiris with another kick to the chest.  
  
Just as Osiris was about to get back up, Yusuke felt another source of power. * Please don't let that be ANOTHER god.* he silently prayed, as his fight with Osiris continued.  
  
****************************  
  
He knew he shouldn't have left his friends during the night, but he also knew that he didn't have a choice. If he did not get there in time, there was no telling what could happen. He continued his trek through the strange desert, and hoped that everyone would be fine until he got back.  
  
Riddle me this: Who is this new player? If you don't know, you haven't been reading both stories. As always, I highly recommend that you do.  
  
P.S. I've just started an account at the Pojo message boards, and also at Edo's as well. If you ever want to talk to me there, look for Charninja. Be seeing ya! 


	28. My, What Big Teeth You Have!

Good day, readers. Good. . . day indeed. I suppose I am happy, but how would one know? Ow! Existentialism really hurts the brain, doesn't it? Oy. Well, that failing, how about we go see some more senseless violence, eh? Everybody LOVES senseless violence. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 27: My, What Big Teeth You Have! (all the better to devour fire demons, after all)  
  
Sobek was tough. Hiei was not quite sure how to explain it, but the crocodile god was just everything that a fighter should be. He was just as fast as Hiei, just as strong, just as smart, and just as tricky, and though Sobek did not carry any actual weapons, his teeth, claws and tail were all that he needed. Whenever Hiei tried to dodge a nasty bite, he suddenly had a tail slamming into his back, and even though he could see both of the attacks coming due to having his entire body covered in eyes, he couldn't muster the speed necessary to dodge three attacks from three different angles at once. At least, not from a god.  
  
So far, the only GOOD thing that Hiei had found out about his opponent was that his aim was not quite as good as Hiei's. Every attack somehow managed to miss a vital spot, and Hiei was beginning to think that such sloppiness was on purpose. He knew, somehow, that had Sobek really wanted him dead, Hiei wouldn't have even known he was in danger by the time he was killed. That was really beginning to get on the vertically challenged demon's nerves, since he hated having to fight someone so powerful, and yet not willing to fight at full strength. It lacked. . . honor, somehow.  
  
Hiei was occasionally able to get a glimpse of how his compatriots were doing. Yusuke atually seemed to be holding his own against Osiris, and it oddly reminded him of Yusuke's fight against Chu in the Dark Tournament, in how they were matching each other move for move. He wouldn't be surprised at all if that battle somehow ended in another clash of heads.  
  
As the fight continued, Hiei dodged another swipe of Sobek's tail, but was raked on the back by his claws. As he was flying, he saw how Sano's fight with Thoth went, and probably would have chuckled at the irony of a blockhead like Sanosuke actually fighting what amounted to the nerd of the Egyptian gods. About the only way Sano seemed to lay a hand on the constantly teleporting deity was if he somehow caught the bird off guard, right after it teleported behind him, and smacked it in the face with a back fist. Luckily for him though, that seemed to happen with some frequency, and he had even managed to bend the god's beak at a rather odd angle to its owners face, strait up, and right between the eyes.  
  
Just before Hiei was about to land, up came Sobek, ready to knock him up again with his tail. Hiei just managed to somersault out of the way, and even brought up his sword at the right time to hack at the flailing appendage. The sword sunk in with a satisfying *shlunk* and Sobek was now screaming in pain. Sadly, Hiei wasn't able to retrieve his blade in time, and was left weaponless as the god came at him again.  
  
Miraculously, the divinity swung his tail again, and Hiei was able to jump up and pull the sword out, and with reflexes that surprised even himself, Hiei parried a slash of the god's claws just as he pulled his blade up, and though he prevented any more damage, he was sent through the air again, where he could see Kurama, now whipping at his opponent. Bast seemed to have a little trouble dealing with the demon's speed and agility, and her club was not capable of defending her very well against Kurama's Rose Whip. To make things even more difficult for her, Kurama had taken some more seeds and had grown a lance of wood on his right arm to double his chances at striking her. Needless to say, Kurama apparently had the easiest time of things, though Hiei had no idea how much longer he could hold up such a fierce attack strategy, and Hiei knew that keeping those plants under control took a lot of energy.  
  
Hiei had just landed, and was parrying another of Sobek's rapid slashing combination attacks, but just barely. He had no idea whether his sword could take much more punishment, so he just prayed for the best.  
  
Hiei saw Kenshin's fight with Anubis in several of his eyes. Kenshin could not cause enough damage with his sword alone, and had begun to rely on just using it as leverage to launch leaping attacks on his much larger opponent. Anubis was fast, but he could barely keep up with the human, and even Hiei was having trouble spotting him occasionally. Kenshin had also taken to blasting debris at the god with his Dou Ryu Sen, attempting to blind his opponent. That gave Hiei an idea.  
  
He jumped as high into the air as he could, well over the head of Sobek, and when he reached the apex of his leap, "SWORD OF THE DARKNESS FLAME! DOU RYU SEN - AKUMA STYLE!" With these words, Hiei's sword became engulfed in the black flame denoted by his first technique, and then he swung it twice, in a cross like pattern, sending both debris and energy flying downwards, pummeling his opponent to the ground. He was not quite sure where the akuma style had come from, since he had never heard of it before. But now he guessed that if Kenshin would not teach him the Hiten-Mitsurugi style, he may as well make it up as he went along.  
  
The attack seemed to have more effect than he had originally guessed. Sobek now actually seemed a little dazed at this turn of events, and Hiei was not about to let him get a second wind. "KUZU RYU SEN - AKUMA STYLE!" he screamed, and just like its Hiten- Mitsurugi counter part, Sobek was now pummeled by nine scorching blows from Hiei's sword.  
  
Seeing the grin on the demon's face, Sobek suddenly felt a small taste of doubt, along with the divine blood that slowly dripped from between his teeth where that latest attack had connected.  
  
*****************************  
  
He continued to wander, ever closer to his destination. He could just see it, off in the distance. It really was much larger than he had imagined, and he could still see that he had quite some way left to go before he would even be through the door. He was heartened though, and he picked up his pace, even as he felt the fear and doubt of those he was trying to save. Even if it would be from themselves.  
  
Hoo, Hiei actually now seems to have some fun. My condolences to Sobek's friends. But again we see the mysterious traveler in the desert, almost at his journey's end. What will happen when he arrives? Just who is he? And Dragon Sythe, I might be a little more sympathetic to your cause if you had actually WRITTEN something. Even if you did put this in your favorite stories section.  
  
P.S. I now have two chapters of my latest story, Matrix Digivolution, up. WHY HAS NO ONE REVEIWED THEM? Go. NOW! I don't care if they are AU and aren't tied in with this story like Some Game is, I still think it is darn good, and you should too. 


	29. And So It Begins

Lo again, kinda faithful readers! I know it has been a while, but hey, it's finals week at my school. Lots of studying, lots of Christmas shopping, and not much time for anything else. If you want to talk to me personally (and I know you do), you can talk to me at Pojo.com in the chat room. Look for Charninja11 (or possibly 12, 13, 14, or some other number, depending on how long it takes you to find me). I am always willing to talk. About ANYTHING. Well, probably, anyway. On with the story!  
  
Chapter 28: And So It Begins (AGAIN, I might add)  
  
When he stepped into the chamber, the fighting stopped. Osiris, Bast, Thoth, Sobek, and Anubis all looked at the new comer, and bowed in reverence.  
  
"Hah, had enough I take it?"  
  
"Sano, stop being an ass. This kid. What. . . is he?"  
  
"A very good question indeed, Hiei. I just hope that we won't regret the answer."  
  
"Heh, looks pretty short to me. But I don't think I would want to be on the receiving end of one of his head butts. I wonder who his barber is?"  
  
"To answer your question, Yusuke, I cut it myself."  
  
"That. . . would explain. . . a lot."  
  
"Is it really my fault that I am too short to see myself in the mirror? besides, your hair is hardly any better."  
  
"I like this kid. He's funny."  
  
"I have been called many things in my time, Hiei. 'Funny' is not one of them."  
  
"Then would you please tell us what you HAVE been called, sir? Have the advantage of us, you do."  
  
"Call me. . . Yugi."  
  
************************  
  
It was a long journey, through the desert. There was water enough, and everyone had certainly faced stronger monsters than what there was here, but that did little to help with the boredom. The mood was certainly lighter than I had been earlier, though, since they now had a defined goal, and a way to achieve. They continued marching.  
  
************************  
  
The gods had vanished, while Yugi told his tale. After a quick bow, and pledge of loyalty, they dissipated into the air, after they were relieved of their current duties in protecting the temple. Everyone was agape as the boy told them what had happened, what he had learned, and especially when he told them what must be done.  
  
"Interesting story, Yugi. Do you know anything else about these Three? other than the bit about them being unstoppable, quirky, and having been locked up since before the beginning of time by heroes unknown?" Kurama asked.  
  
"Not really," said the relatively normal Yugi "I think they might be related to Duel monsters, though I have no idea how. I know they aren't the god monsters though; I have already dealt with them. I wish I had more to tell you, but I. . . just can't. . . remember much else. There was something about popcorn, though."  
  
"Popcorn? what? were they watching some movie? what the hell does popcorn have to do with anything?"  
  
"Would you prefer human hearts, Yusuke? I know quite a few demon gods that eat those. Never really understood why though, hearts are almost always the toughest of the vital organs."  
  
"You would know this personally, Hiei?"  
  
"Yes, Sanosuke. I would." answered Hiei, oblivious to the sweat drops of everyone else.  
  
*These guys are weirder than Inuyasha and his friends. At least Inuyasha hasn't eaten somebody's heart* thought the slightly worried teenager with a multicolored pin-cushion for a hairdo.  
  
******************************  
  
The Three watched in earnest. The explosions were always their favorite part. Then the more responsible of The Three turned the channel, and they all got back to watching what the soon to be accomplices in their escape were doing.  
  
You know, I can't help but wonder what The Three were watching. I wonder if it is any good. Moving on, as always, comments, rants, suggestions, ideas, and random crap that has been flying through your skulls for a bit, is always appreciated. And again, feel free to talk to me at Pojo's. 


	30. Uhoh

Yes...it is true what they say... I have returned. I have learned much while I was gone. Did you know that Barney bled in melted crayon, for example? (Oh, READ NO FURTHER UNLESS YOU HAVE READ THE LATEST CHAPTER OF SOME GAME) ON WITH THE STORY!  
  
Chapter 29: Uh-oh (oooohhhh crap...)  
  
"These yer friends, Yugi?"  
  
"Yes, Yususke. The blonde boy is Joey, and the boy in blue is Seto Kaiba. The two girls are Sango and Kagome (pssst.... don't get either of them mad), the Buddhist monk is Miroku, and the guy with the dog ears is Inuyasha."  
  
"So you are the half-breed this human has been going on about?" asked the diminutive fire demon.  
  
"Uhh... you guys do know that it would be a lot easier to talk to you if you weren't half naked and rubbing each other down, right?" Joey inquired. The others were just as surprised at the sight before them: a red-headed man with a cross shaped scar on his cheek, what could only be Yugi's twin brother with dyed black hair, an otherwise normal Japanese youth, a slightly older young man with a white jacket and a bare chest, and a red headed young man that could have been mistaken for a girl. At least, he would have been, if it weren't for the fact that they were indeed all bare chested and rubbing each other down with ointment to help heal their wounds. It really was quite homoerotic.  
  
"Who are these gorgeous friends of yours, Yugi!?" Kagome squealed. It was the first time she had seen so much hunky man flesh in one place. Sango was going through a similar ordeal, and couldn't take her eyes off of Sanosuke. For once, it was Miroku and Inuyasha who had to bring sanity back to the situation.  
  
"SIT, GIRL!" they both screamed in poorly concealed jealousy, as they jumped in front of the two girls and between them and the other men.  
  
sigh "Well, it was good while it lasted, right Sango?"  
  
Sango was still crying with the little hearts in her eyes as Miroku blocked her view, and was unavailable for comment.  
  
"Guys... maybe we should put our shirts back on... I think mister puppy-ears is getting angry..." noticed Yusuke.  
  
"MY NAME IS NOT MISTER PUPPY-EARS! MY NAME IS INUYASHA, AND YOU WILL REFER TO ME AS SUCH!" he screamed indignantly.  
  
"Damn, you are a loud creature, aren't you?"  
  
"WHAT'S IT TO YA, SHORTY!? I WANNA KNOW WHY I JUST WALKED IN ON A BUNCH OF GUYS LUBING THEMSELVES UP WHILE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING FOR OUR FRIEND!"  
  
"Inuyasha, we aren't 'lubing ourselves up,' we are just putting some of Kurama's medicine our wounds. Well... their wounds, really. The fighting pretty much stopped after I got here." answered the midget-like human, who was almost evenly matched with Hiei, height-wise, anyway.  
  
To the chagrin of the girls, Sanosuke and the others finally put on their shirts, and got back up off of the floor.  
  
"Oh well... I guess it just wasn't meant to be... sadly..." groaned a very disappointed Sango. Kagome could only moan in sympathy, still having trouble of getting Sanosuke's rippling muscles and glistening skin out of her mind.  
  
"Kagome... since when did you become as bad as Miroku?"  
  
"I heard that, Inuyasha."  
  
"I know."  
  
POOF!  
  
Suddenly, no one knew where they were.  
  
SMACK!  
  
"Sorry, Sango."  
  
Or where everyone else was at the moment, either.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------  
  
"Ahh... only a few more days till we get to fight again. I look forward to this battle, battosai. And you as well, spirit detective. I look forward to it indeed..."  
  
OMFG!!!!!! It's Mister Voice in the Dark! We haven't heard from him in AGES! I wonder what he is up to... 


End file.
